Marry me, Kaavya V
(another non-work related, personal post, some portions of which may contain adult matter unsuitable for children)
I'm going insane. I love my job, and I love things that are not job-related in my life, but I need a savior. Between work, GNoTE (yes, that's the first mention of my/our project), a ridiculously preposterously, umm, ridiculously crazy personal life, I am going crazy. There're a little under a zillion things that are on my mind at any give point in time these days. And the list of things keeps mounting. I shouldn't have to work hard, right? There's gotta be an easier way out. Kaavya Viswanathan, you and I, you know, we can do this... You've got the money, and I've got the ass; I can sit on it and do nothing for a long time to make sure it stays pretty.
You know what, people are getting together for all the wrong reasons. You and I, on the other hand, can get together for the right reasons - to become, us. Together, we can do stuff. Together. And typical married couples, don't do stuff together today, Kaavya V. We can change that. And we have genuine reasons to be married. You're a world renowned plagiarist, I am a not-so-world-renowned evangelist. It just makes sense. I'm not sure where you are with getting over this little media frenzy and collecting the pieces and getting your life together thing, but you know, we, you and I, together, we could fix things that just don't seem right in our individual lives.
Maybe you and I, together, could write a book. Together. It could be based on how this guy proposes to this plagiarist over the internet and then ends up with her, and how they make buttloads of money. It'd be teh awesomes. We could have a character in the book, who I thought of completely on my own, and has never been ever mentioned in any book whatsoever - a character who shall be called "the albino". Yeah. We could even make the character a 'she'. But then again, I'm just tossing ideas out. You're clearly the definitive expert when it comes to book-writing, so I'll leave that up to you. Whoa, hang on a sec, you see how this is working out already? We're compromising, and, like working together already. And apparently, compromising is what relationships are all about. We're using each otherses strengthses to the best of our abilities. How awesomes is that?
You're probably thinking, Kaavya V, "what's in it for Kaavya V"? You know what, people everywhere, suddenly seem to want me. Men want me... Look at all these comments that men have tried to leave me on my blog (except for the one in the middle by Linda):
Women randomly seem to want to be my myspace friend (I thought it was odd that DitzyHun looked exactly like VirginNot, but then I realized that it's not the first time that identical twins who pose for and take pictures in exactly the same way have wanted to be friends with me) :
People from all over the world, are just throwing money at me :
Well, I'll tell you what else - I have a long resume of failed relationships. And some of these ex-girlfriends are getting married. I like to think that I am the reason they're getting married, because if they were with me, they'd, well, still be with me, right? So, you see how I'm helping other people out. Even helping out spiteful ex-es. So, it only makes sense that you and I get married.
And it wouldn't have been the first time that an evangelist would've gotten in touch with someone over the internet. Take my good friend Rory for example - Tee and him are pretty good together, and very happy. She's young, beautiful and a great writer (from what I've heard from Rory), much like you are, except that you plagiarize, but that's cool by me. Him and I are alike in that we're both human. Do you see the striking similarities here? I'm guessing after reading this you wouldn't need any more convincing.
Some may think that it's the altitude that's gotten the best of me here (I am on a flight back home from Phoenix after having done an event there), but it isn't really [the altitude]. I actually started writing this post, on my flight to PHX from SFO. So, it can't be the altitude. In all seriousness though, I really wouldn't mind us getting married. Seriously. Should I get a ring? How do we do this - should I have my agent call your agent? Whoops, sorry, I forgot you probably don't have one anymore... Umm, so, call me?
Currently playing in my head : 'Temperature' by Sean Paul
"ai"
