Ahoy, ye downloading scoundrels!

Arr, software prices are too high.  Copying isn't stealing.  Copyright infringement is a victimless crime.  Nobody gets hurt.  Big companies have too much money.  It's just sharing with my friends.  It's only a few hundred gigabytes.  I deserve this music.  The RIAA are a bunch of mob bullies.  DRM is evil.  I'll just delete it afterward.  U.S. companies have no presence here.  Damn capitalists!  I want my MTV.  Get your money for nothing and your chicks for free.  I deserve this.  I want something for nothing.  Stealing is only wrong if you get caught.  I can't afford to pay retail. You're trampling my constitutional right to free stuff.  Tell you what, give me legitimate content at a discount and I'll stop downloading it.  Everybody's doing it.  I can't play iSongs content on my no-name mp3 player.  The studios won't release that on DVD.  You can't get the original Betamax anymore.  Let me port this to my 8-track player.  It only works when I download.  The copyright system is broken.  How can you have a copyright on data?  It's just bits and bytes.  Information wants to be free.

(Today's tongue-in-cheek sarcasm brought to you by Talk Like a Pirate Day.  I dunno, but looking at the paragraph above, I still don't understand why anyone would want to talk like that.  Ahoy!)