I just attended two testing conferences in two weeks, and overall, it was a great experience. I almost didn't post this blog entry, but, as the title of this blog suggests, I just need to rant once in a while.

Another thing that almost stopped me from posting, is that Jeff already wrote virtually this same post (which much more humor and well chosen words) a year and a half ago (ish).

With that said, let me just conclude this post with all of the stuff that bugged me during the fifteen or so talks I watched over the last two weeks. Please keep in mind that most of the presentations were very good, and that no single talk bugged me in all of these ways. If I saw your talk, please assume that I'm talking about somebody else's talk.

Things you can do to annoy me in a presentation

• Animate every single bullet point
• Bonus – read each bullet as it appears
• Use a lot of 10 and 12 point fonts - especially if you're in a big room
• Put nothing but text on your slides – diagrams, graphics, etc. are a waste of bits
• Read the title of every slide – it will help you remember what you’re talking about
• Never practice speaking to your slides
• Bonus: Act surprised at some slides – like they’re new or changed
• Never have anyone else look at your slides to fix typos and grammatical errors
• When you get to later slides, look at them and say “oh – we already covered this”
• Bonus: talk about the slide anyway, repeating what you said before
• Leave no time for questions at the end of your talk. (You’ve already told people everything anyway).

And before  you say it, I certainly don't consider myself an expert speaker. I enjoy it and I work on it, but I even caught myself reading a title to one of my slides today. That said, feel free to tell me what a jerk I am for posting this...or add to my list.