It's customary here in England to castigate British Rail for their outlandish non-service excuses. As far back as I can remember we've had "leaves on the line". Then, after they spent several million pounds on special cleaning trains, it morphed into "the wrong kind of leaves on the line". And of course, every winter when the entire British transport system grinds to a halt they blame "the wrong kind of snow." But this week I've been introduced to a new one: "the wrong kind of electricity".
During the summer months I ply my lonely documentation engineering trade using a laptop and enjoying the almost-outdoorsness of the conservatory; soaking up the joys of summer, the birds singing in the trees, the fish splashing around in the pond, and a variety of country wildlife passing by. So when I noticed one of my regular computer suppliers was selling off Windows 7 laptops, no doubt to be ready for the imminent arrival of Windows 8, I thought it would be a good idea to pick up a decent 17" one to replace my aging 14" Dell Latitude. With age gradually degrading my eyesight I reckon I'll soon need all the screen space I can get.
So when my nice new Inspiron arrived I powered it up, worked through the "configuring your computer" wizard, removed all the junk that they insist on installing, and started to list all the stuff I'll need to install. Until I noticed that the battery wasn't charging. So I fiddled with the power settings, dug around in the BIOS, tried a different power pack, and did all the usual pointless things like rebooting several times. No luck.
So I dive into t'Internet to see if there's a known fix. Yes, according to several posts on the manufacturer's site and elsewhere there is. You replace the power supply board inside the computer at a cost of 35 pounds, or – if it's still under guarantee – send it back and they replace the motherboard. Mind you, there were several other suggestions, such as upgrading the BIOS and banging the power supply against a wall, but as I'd only had the machine for two hours none of these seemed to be an ideal solution. So I did the obvious – pack it up and send it back to the supplier as DoA (dead on arrival).
Mind you, when I phoned the supplier and explained the problem the nice lady said that it would be OK if I kept it plugged into the mains socket because then it doesn't need the battery to be charged up. True, but as I pointed out to her, it's supposed to be a portable computer. I'll need a long piece of wire if I decide to use it the next time I'm travelling somewhere by train.
And do I want a replacement? How common is the failure? To have it happen on a brand new machine is worrying. Yet, strangely, only a few weeks ago I noticed one time when I powered up my old Latitude that it displayed a message saying it didn't recognize my power pack, but then decided it did. Yet after wandering around the house I found five Dell laptop power packs and they all seem to be much the same. All 19.6 Volts, either 3.4 Amps or higher current rating. They all have the same two-pole plug, with the positive in the center. The only difference seems to be that the newer ones have 25 certificates of conformance on the label, while the older ones have around 15 (perhaps that's why they seem to get bigger each time - to make room for the larger label).
So how does the computer know which power pack I've plugged in? When I looked in the BIOS it said that the power pack was "65 Watts". Is there some high frequency modulation on the output that the computer can decipher? Or does it do the old electrician's trick of flicking the wires together to see if there's sparks, and measure the effect? Do all computers these days do the same thing? If I buy an unbranded replacement power pack will the computer pop up a window saying "You tight-fisted old miser - you don't really expect me to work with that do you?"
And is all this extra complexity, which can obviously go wrong, really needed? How comfortable will I be with all my computers now if I feel I need to check that the power supply/computer interface is still working every time I switch one of them on? It seems like the usual suspicion most people have that the first thing to die on your computer will be the hard disk is no longer true. Now your computer may decide to stop working just because you're using the wrong kind of electricity...