Its amazing howmany of us are over-achievers. I used to think that it was the school I went to, or the two ginormous companies that I’ve worked for, or just the people I hung around, who were just uber-competitive. I have friends who’re not satisfied with just getting 100% of their job done. But whats more than a 100% of any job?
A job is a job, is a job. As is a task. Yet, I occasionally find myself not just wanting to get the job done, or the task done. After finishing it, I look back it and I think, “how can I make this product better, so that it can propel itself in to space, roam Mars, examine Mars’ topology and then land back safely and give me a report of how martians poo”. Why do I do this? What am I trying to achieve by overdoing my task?
What I am doing, and clearly, I’ve spent enough time analyzing my own quirkiness, is not letting go of my task. I like it enough, I’ve worked on it enough, and I’ve babied it and watched it grow, that I can’t let it go. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without it. And while I have a zillion other things I could potentially complete, for some reason, none of my tasks EVER get done. And to be quite honest, its not just me, its you, its him, her, and everyone else we know. Its got to do with your affiliation with your organization, and your wanting to just do more than you need to. And every time, I think I’m done, something just sucks me back in…
I’ve done this so many times, that I’ve destroyed personal relationships. I’ve gotten very close to keeping or making some important relationships, but at the time I find myself working so hard, that I end up screwing things up. Its amazing as I look back, and think to myself the number of times I’ve turned around and told someone “look, I’m busy, I can’t do this right now. And I probably will never have the time to do this.” And a few days ago, I spent some time looking back and thinking to myself, was it really worth it after all? Could I’ve spent some more time nurturing, what I think now, were the beginning of important relationships, or did I do the right thing in adding those extra “-f” and the “-i” command-line parameters to that command-line executable?
Song in my head : "Tell Her This" by "Del Amitri"