It won't surprise you when I tell you that I'm going to hell (when I die), if such a "place" exists. I've been really good of late, but even the smallest bads can outweigh the best of goods, I suppose. Yesterday, was one such day, when I was bad.

At our MSDN events, we typically have a person or two helping us out with customer meet and greets, registrations, and overall general niceness. The job sounds easy, but it's not really that easy. It takes a lot of skill to deal with 500 or so odd people at the same time while trying to get them registered, manage catering etc. etc. At the MSDN event in SF the other day, we had a small snafu - the concierge who would typically help us out was unable to make it, and we had a replacement come in. This lady was the nicest person I've ever met in her 60s. She reminded me a lot of my grandmother. In spite of her niceness, she was not a competent concierge. Much like how I can be an incompetent concierge. Or an incompetent marksman or a goldsmith. It's just a non-match.

So, this old lady, who was completely clueless about our process, was trying to multitask and take care of business. She kept fumbling and messing things up. Things were so bad that I had to literally do the work for her. It was not a good experience for our customers. And finally because she couldn't handle the smallest of things, I snapped. In a very rude manner I told her to step aside because she wasn't helping. And I was rude, because she wasn't listening. And instantaneously, I felt bad about it. And now much later, I feel worse.

At the end of the day, I was thinking to myself that I'd just snapped at a 65 year old woman who is a lot like my grandmother. She didn't have to put up with it. She deserves better. And now I feel like crap because of what I've done. I can only imagine how I would've felt if someone had treated my grandmother the way I treated that lady. I don't even know how I can start to make it up.

I'm going to hell, people.

"ai"