Well, not like that ;-)
But Rico is open for business at the PDC... We got him hooked up with a small office where he can meet 1-1 with anyone that is having perf issues. He can live debug your application or just talk architecture with it. Rico has done many of these with customers on campus, so I know it will be worth your time.
One suggestion I have to bring your not-so-perf aware co-worker and just enjoy watching Rico work his magic ;-)
Seriously, this is a great offer with no strings attached. Just send mail to firstname.lastname@example.org to nominate yourself.
Also, I know I have some folks from the Microsoft field that read my blog… I’d love to have your help to find the right customers to nominate for this.