Dear Spammers (or, "high volume email deployers") -

Thank you for your recent plethora of e-mails describing your fine Rolex wares. But I should tell you, before you waste another processing cycle on flooding my Junk Mail folder, that I don't wear watches. I have tried in the past, but I just can't adopt a watch into my lifestyle. Between my cell phone, PDA, laptop, and the in-brain computer tracking device they give us when we start at Microsoft <g>, I have plenty of ways to determine what time it is. And if all of those devices fail, I can just look at the sun. Scratch that... I live in Seattle... well, surely at least one of those devices will be working at any given time.

Nevertheless, thank you for your time and the multitude of offers. But I am too busy making "$25,000 per week working from home" and "earning my college d1pl0ma."

Yours truly -
Brian Keller