I came across this while reading through one of my text books today and thought, “I miss the good ole’ days”.

Before “civilised rule”, if you had a grievance with someone, you had the right under common law to a Trial by Combat! Hell yeah! What was this? Essentially, you and the person you had grievance with, would grab a spear (or long staff) and a leather shield, and belt it out! Whoever was left standing was essentially “in favour”, and everyone went about their business.

Also, there was Trial by Ordeal (oh I’m loving these terms!), which was similar, but more for public complaints (between you and the government) rather than private (between you and someone else). In this one, they had a few tests, like scalding you with hot water to see if you heal or throwing you into a pond to see if you floated (this was a BAD thing??).

So I started thinking, wow, I could really use these in my day to day life. For example, the other day, I was at Officeworks, and the pimply geek in the Tech area was giving me that condescending treatment when I asked him to explain the difference between normal PDA stylus’ and the ones you use on a tablet (electrostatic I was to find out later online). I could have simply produced my staff and shield and opened up a can of TbC on him, and walked away “favourably”.

Or, you know when you’re in that sales meeting, and the pre-sales person is waffling on, lying through their teeth? I would simply produce a cup of boiling hot water and throw it on them. When they freak out and scream, I would politely and calmly explain that the truth will behold, and should their burnt skin heal in the following few seconds, then yes, their integration solution should surely support 5000 transactions per minute. If not, I would unfortunately have to advise them that I won’t be requiring their time any further.

Unreal!

Disclaimer: Please exercise some control, discipline and common sense; don’t throw boiling water on anyone, let alone a salesperson. Perhaps instead, toss them into the closest pond :)