Then, first let me say you have my pity, and then let me direct you to this nice piece by my old business partner (we started our first consulting business together out of our house)...  

Responding to RFP's
Many of you who are also consultants know that one of the realities of life is to write sales proposals.  When working for large companies or governments you typically submit a proposal in response to a RFP – a request for proposal.  This task is much like taking a pen and jamming it into your eyeball.  While this may be fun for those who enjoy physical self mutilation -  I personally do not appreciate this painful experience (well, that’s not true… I’m still a consultant and in some form that is one type of self mutilation I would assume)...

(check out the whole post here)

Hopefully you'll find it amusing, even though it is completely true :)