I was reading Bob's Top 5 post on Valentine's Day, where he gives the typical male perspective on Valentine's day.

Before I go on, I'll let the 2% of you who don't know the male perspective on Valentine's day spend some time reading his response.

I share his attitude towards Valentine's day, but rather than complain about the expectations of popular culture, I've taken a different tact.

I practice random acts of giftitude.

Rather than following some calendar-based approach, I give my wife gifts at random intervals, and of random sizes.

Now, I don't suggest that you go cold turkey and totally abandon such biggies as birthdays, or any major family holidays. I don't think that's a healthy thing to do. But you can reduce their size.

There are some big benefits to this approach:

  • Random gifts == no expectations of gifts. Your love isn't guided by the whim of an advertising executive. Your love is original
  • You get much more credit. Any slob can pick up some flowers on valentines day. But how many can pick up a single rose on April 8th?
  • There's no expectation of the size of gift on a random day.
  • There's no chance of forgetting to get a present.

Two caveats:

  1. It may not be a good idea to disclose this approach to the giftee
  2. At least initially, you will probably need to increase the gift amount, and it's a good idea to "accidentally" come home with something a few days before one of the traditional dates.