Fabulous Adventures In Coding
Eric Lippert is a principal developer on the C# compiler team. Learn more about Eric.
I'm heads-down today trying to figure out a complicated new feature in Whidbey -- working out the differences between the spec and the code is proving to be quite a challenge! -- so today, another entry in my series on the wit and wisdom of the Visual Studio team:
"This is established 'Alien vs. Predator' folklore."
"I cannot be stopped by mere bullets!"
"Neo could kick Yoda's ass!"
(Please discuss the latter.)
There have been a spate of reproductive successes on my team recently. Here's what happens when three developers try to coo over a newborn baby:
Developer #1: "Wow, she's like a really tiny human!"Developer #2: "That's because she is a really tiny human."Developer #3, aka “dad“: "Yes, she's the human equivalent of a 30% scaled in-place view control."
Not pretty. (The developers, that is -- the baby was cute.)
Why devs really do need PMs around to keep them in line
Dev #1: "If we pick one of the two interfaces at random, we're going to get it wrong 50% of the time. Customers aren't going to be happy about that." Dev #2: "You're a real 'glass half empty' guy, aren't you? Think of all the millions of times we'll get it right!"
Dev: "Checkin suites are just another hurdle on the road to checking in broken code."
More on the Program Management / Development relationship
PM to Dev: "It is so unpleasant being me using this product. Jack, we have a date with a spreadsheet."
A PM on the necessity of cutting features vs. slipping schedules: "I have a hacksaw in my office for a reason."
(It's true -- he does have a hacksaw in his office. Weird.)
PM: "We need to get this fixed. I'm going to take this to [name of Microsoft Distinguished Engineer here]." Dev: "Yeah! Do it! Get on his schedule! Call in all your favours!"PM: "I already did. Do you have time to come to the meeting next week?"Dev: "Whoa -- I don't want to get involved!"
And finally, my personal favourite for this month:
PM: "It's easy to be smart. It's being right that's hard." Dev: "No, it's easy to be smart and right. It's convincing PMs that you're right that's hard."