This (which has no embed code, dernit)

And by this my dad means:

a) Happy holidays, daughter! As a Christmas present next year, I'd like to have a son-in-law. If the best you can do is a "dual bag", that's OK with me. Get used to the idea. Clock is ticking.

b) Happy holidays, daughter! So men can be "dual bags". And your inability to deal with that will keep you single forever. I have finally come to terms with that which you already knew. And in honor of that fact, check out this funny video. Dual bag....funny.

c) JC Penny makes nice jewelry.

d) I like folding towels.

e) Did you remember to buy a present for the dog?

 

PS: I don't want to get angry emails from men. If I need the disclaimer that this does not apply to all men, then here you go.