Making changes...learning how to relax a little

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

Marienne Thampsen — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:59:54 GMT

Nice note... You aren't alone in your struggle.

I have similiar issues... work, housework, kids time and I'm dead by the vening. I even forget to have a snack sometimes... And I can't find the manual labor of the housework relaxing. This is like a nightmare for me.

I usually try to relax walking a little in the evening... or if I'm really tired and feel like I'm going to die, I watch relaxation vids, like http://www.relaxwithnature.com, or listen to the sound of nature on cd... Nature always makes me feel refreshed and rejuvenated.

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

HeatherLeigh — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 21:07:19 GMT

TIm-I don;t have cats or kisds, but the weed thng kills me. I'm the exact same. In face weeding is on my weekend to-do list. I've never heard of the zen dishwashing thing. Maybe it's fairly mindless so people zone out but that there's something about the simple process, the warm water and the smell of lemony freshness that's so relaxing that you should concentrate on it.

Tony-knowing that you are interviewing today, I'm totally keeping my fingers crossed for you (ah, you probably won't see this until after...dang!). Oh well, if you do see this today, I'm in building 100 and the receptionist can call me but don't make a separate trip if it would stress out your interview day. Glad we have some sunshine for you!

Russ-that rotation program sounds smart!

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

Russ Moon — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 18:27:40 GMT

There are always things to do and I am chastized by my friends as I sometimes whine about trying to clean my house while working/going to school full time. My answer is to rotate tasks. Study a couple hours,clean up the bathroom or kitchen AND here's the illumination...then I allow myself to have a little fun time. Pick up my guitar and play Voodoo Chile without guilt, hop on the Nordic track for 30 minutes, read something recreational. Then go back and rotate through the regime again. Tasks are chipped away at and a little fun is thrown in there.

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

Tony — Thu, 14 Jul 2005 02:30:40 GMT

Finding the balance in life...

You guys ain't freaks at all, you just understand that it's not an easy task to be able to truly relax when you are such a driven person. Indeed, there is ALWAYS something to do. But one first shift in perspective is to understand that "doing nothing" is in fact doing something. It's a little like understanding that rest is not a break from the cycle of life, but rather a very important PART of the cycle.

Let's all relate to a very particular situation... I'm currently in the Courtyard Marriott in Bellevue, trying to relax before I jump into my Full-Time PM interview tomorrow morning... Now, I truly appreciate having the opportunity to fly from Québec and stay in a nice hotel, all free of charge and I definetly want to do my best tomorrow. But does that mean that I shouldn't be reading Heather's blog (hey wait, this blog really does help you prepare for MS interviews :o) ) or be taking a little swim at the pool and rather be reading "The Road Ahead" or "Code Complete" or "Debugging the Development Process" or...

Let's face it, I could spend all my time, and could have spent all the last weeks reading and preparing, without rest, for my interview...

It's all a question of balance. Now although this all looks simple, the interesting point is that: that balance is very different from person to person and even more... that person's middle-point will evolve and move during her life.

Ok, now let's go enjoy the pool and the gym... :D

Tony
anthony@worldsmart.ca

P.S.: Hé Heather, being so close and all, it's kind of a personal challenge to not try to find your office and see the girl behind the blog :D I mean, I just have to see your new office right?
:o)

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

Tim — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 03:12:47 GMT

I can almost never relax in the house. I sit down, and there's cat hair or a kid's toy (Bop It Extreme) and when I go outside all I see are weeds.

What I've been wondering, though (and anyone who has studied Zen Buddhism might back me up here) is why the heck the Zen masters are always telling you to focus when doing the dishes.

No, kidding, I've heard it from quite a few of them.

And every time I do the dishes I say, "What the hell are they talking about?"

Weeding, though, weeding really close to the ground so I can't see anything else in my yard. That seems to work.

Heather and everyone else, we are not alone!

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

HeatherLeigh — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 03:09:33 GMT

Autumn sage, eunonymous, spurge, Spanish lavender, Bottle Brush, Boxwood, Azalias, ferns. You know, I never gardened in Chicago…I was living amongst the concrete and brick. There are some plants here that are indigenous to our zone so you end up seeing them a lot (like lavender…anything that grows in France pretty much grows here, oddly enough, same lattitude and similar soil from what I understand). I guess I really didn’t have the awareness in Chicago. I suspect more evergreens here. More shade plants (I have a shady side of my yard and a sunny side so I get to investigate both kinds! Yay). I also have apple trees in my front yard so the fall is a frenzy of canning, making applesauce, etc.

I think the main difference is just that we are a different climate zone from Chicago (7&8 if I recall correctly). Luckily, the nurseries figure that out for you so I just check all the tags before I plant for sun versus shade and from there it’s just trial and error. It’s scary that I am starting to have some “favorite plants”…I’m such a nerd! ; )

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

nate — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 23:53:02 GMT

What kind of plants did you plant?

How do plants and gardening in the Seattle area differ from Illinois?

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

Jonathan — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 23:44:19 GMT

In some ways I find it relaxing to read the variety of blogs that I subscribe too. It's a source of communication and community that would otherwise be missing. Much like reading a book I find that blogging reduces the isolation that can happen.

BTW, Heather, mulching is fast and can reuse the clipping's as nutrients, etc. I've started doing it more often and my grass has taken off. The usual problem is that people wait to long and then mow their grass too short. According to my lawn care friend this leads to the need for bagging clippings, but more importantly increases the chances for diseases, etc.

~ JLC

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

HeatherLeigh — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 22:23:08 GMT

Sean-I am definitely checking that out. Closet organization is a great rainy day project. Uh-oh, I feel a relapse coming on!

Karan-I could say that is sick, but it sounds kinds normal too ; ) Being trapped in a messy car= my nightmare (and a date ender in general...so you single guys out there, clean out your cars!)

Jonas-you and I are a lot alike. The not thinking about anything thing...I just can't do it. So you probably would have a hard time with yoga too, right? By the way, now that you have posted here, I have someone to say that my dog is named after ; ) (he's Jonas too and he's fabulous, but he definitely knows how to relax)

Anita-I knew someone would come on here and say they have fried a turkey! Cool! I hear it's great. For me...too much of carrying heavy thigs, hoisting a turkey. I'd definitely be interested in it if someone else was in charge ; )

ck147-good point. I find it relaxing but maybe a different kind of relaxing than relaxing or it's just that I rarely get to nirvana (the state when your house is clean, lawn groomed, car washed and laundry done). All that has to happen for me to get to the other kind of true relaxation that involves an outdoor chair, a book and a glass of wine.

Brad-smart of you to schedule it. It definitely takes some effort and you surely have to pick the right weekend for it.

Jonathan...words to live by. The only thing for me is that it sometimes feels like I need to rush through the housework "relaxing" to get to the other kind. So I end the weekend feeling like I have hurried. I've definitely noticed that I have gotten more patient, which is what I think makes it relaxing. But I also feel the need to "get it done".

Anyway, it's good to know there are others out there and get words of wisdom on this topic. I think somehow that commisserating is making me feel better! By the way, I did mow the lawn last night but I mulched instead of bagged. Baby steps : )

re: Making changes...learning how to relax a little

Jonathan — Tue, 12 Jul 2005 18:53:49 GMT

This discussion has come up numerous times over the years between friends and I. I think the basic questions are "what is work?" and "what is leisure?" For some, it's real work and NOT relaxing to do things like going camping, hiking or watersking, while for others these same activities cleanse their stress. Another factor in this discussion is our environment while growing up, since this will shape our idea of relaxation.

As mentioned by the others, some need order to relax, while others can do so in the midst of seeming chaos. Is one group right and the other wrong? I don't think so, rather we need to do what is relaxing to us, regardless of other's opinions. (Sounding like a rant :-Z)

Anyway, the idea of relaxation (whatever that looks like to us) is to renew ourselves and however one does that is okay. Therefore, Heather you do what relieves tension and renews yourself. Otherwise, you're just creating more stress, which is the opposite of relaxing!

Ahhhh, posting this was relaxing....thanks! :-)

~ Jonathan