Sorry, but as a parent I am legally binded towards one of these posts every once in awhile.  For background, Eitan is three and Nathan is two.

 

Eitan: I want a car.

Me: A car?  Why do you need a car?

Eitan: So I can drive to school.

Me: So you can drive to school?

Eitan: Yes, and I’ll have car seats in the back for you.

Me: Car seats?!

Eitan: Big car seats.  And a little one for Nathan.

 

One day I hard boiled six eggs and divided them equally between three bags so Eitan, Nathan, and I could take them to school, work and eat them.

Me: Eitan, how many eggs are there?

Eitan: There are two eggs.

Me: No, there are six eggs.

Eitan: No, there are two eggs.

Me: Let’s count them one…two…three…four…five…six.  Six eggs.

Eitan: No. One…two. One…two.  One…two. Two eggs.

 

Me: (telling my wife about something) blah blah blah blah.  What would he do that?  It’s just plain stupid! Blah blah blah

Nathan: (interjecting) You said “stupid”!

Me: (admittedly) Yes, I did.

Nathan: You need to sit in the naughty chair.

Me: (sitting in the naughty chair) OK, Nathan, tell me when it is OK to get up.

Nathan: OK.  You can get up.

Me: Thank you Nathan.

Nathan: Don’t say stupid any more.