I had mean to blog this a while back - Joe McKendrick talked about my comments during the SOA/BPM Conference.
Yes, the fundamental problem with the big-bang mega approaches to SOA is that they almost always end up being out-of-sync with the needs of the business. My experience, working with enterprise customers on SOA for over 8 years is that it is the incremental, iterative, real-world approach that helps you correct your course and deliver value to the business in a meaningful way.
And yes, I do believe that the 'build-it-and-they-will-come' approach to SOA has failed the business – customers and partners understand that you don’t learn by planning for months and often years, but rather that you learn by doing.
Joe's blog is a very good one to track - I have been following his writings for a whil enow.