If you've read the ToolStrip FAQ, you may already be aware that you can replace the colors of the ToolStrip by passing in a new ProfessionalColorTable to the constructor of the ToolStripProfessionalRenderer. 

How can you tell what color does what?

Create a form, then add in a property grid and set the SelectedObject to the ProfessionalColorTable.  You should be able to see all the colors and descriptions of the colors.

            PropertyGrid pg = new PropertyGrid();

            pg.SelectedObject = new ProfessionalColorTable();

            pg.Dock = DockStyle.Fill;

            this.Controls.Add(pg);

If you want the same colors as VS, that's ground we've already covered.