If you've read the ToolStrip FAQ, you may already be aware that you can replace the colors of the ToolStrip by passing in a new ProfessionalColorTable to the constructor of the ToolStripProfessionalRenderer.
How can you tell what color does what?
Create a form, then add in a property grid and set the SelectedObject to the ProfessionalColorTable. You should be able to see all the colors and descriptions of the colors.
PropertyGrid pg = new PropertyGrid();
pg.SelectedObject = new ProfessionalColorTable();
pg.Dock = DockStyle.Fill;
If you want the same colors as VS, that's ground we've already covered.