MARCH 06, 2007, REDMOND -- Microsoft today announced the creation of a new super-secure encryption technique, doubling previous techniques. Dubbed "ROT-26," the new technique applies a complex mathematical algorithm recently created in Microsoft Research. The previous technique (ROT-13) was only capable of half the complexity.
"This technique heralds a new day for customer privacy," said John Montgomery, Person Who Has Nothing To Do With The Invention. "By doubling the complexity of time-honored encryption algorithm, Microsoft has enabled a new generation of software to be created."
Upon hearing of the invention, Bruce Schneier giggled and refused comment.
(Yes, it's an old joke, but it came up again today.)