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Beresheit, with sidekicks (from the New Yorker, via Monica Cellio's blog)

Beresheit, with sidekicks (from the New Yorker, via Monica Cellio's blog)

  • Comments 7

Monica (old friend from college) linked to it, I nearly had to clean up my monitor after reading it...

Day No. 1:

And the Lord God said, “Let there be light,” and lo, there was light. But then the Lord God said, “Wait, what if I make it a sort of rosy, sunset-at-the-beach, filtered half-light, so that everything else I design will look younger?”

“I’m loving that,” said Buddha. “It’s new.”

“You should design a restaurant,” added Allah.

http://www.newyorker.com/printables/shouts/050926sh_shouts

 

Edit: fixed link to Monica
  • Larry,

    You should read http://www.venganza.org I found it early today at the Bad Astronomy Blog.

  • I think your link to Monica's blog should be
    http://www.livejournal.com/users/cellio/456926.html
    instead of https://exchangedogfood.com/exchweb/bin/redir.asp?URL=http://www.livejournal.com/users/cellio/456926.html
  • The Lord God you mention has a problem. He is answering himself. The Jewish, Christian, and Islamic God is the same God from the same Old Testament. Mohammad was sent to correct the followers of Jesus who had misunderstood Jesus's message. Jesus is the only special person in islamic lore (a minority believe him to be the messiah, most believe he is the messiah's companion who battles what Christians call the anti-christ at the end of time). Mohammad said he was an ordinary man who was a prophet while Jesus did mircles and has a second coming.

    I think at times like these we need to be precise so as not to encourage another holocaust. Allah is merely the arabic word for God.

  • And after God finished installing earth, he learned about time zones, and it was night time and it was day time and it was one day in one time zone, but the cycle varied in other time zones. Compare that to versions of Windows prior to Vista, where one could set the time zone before installation completed, and some files didn't end up with funny timestamps.
  • Jews should restrict themselves to the first 50 words only.

    Religion
    The one-minute Bible

    Time-starved Christians had their prayers answered last week with the release of The 100-Minute Bible, an abridged version that is 20,000 words long. But who has the best part of two hours free to read the Scriptures? With the magic of computers (namely, the wonders of Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize feature), we've distilled the essence of the Good Book further, into a trim 100 words. Here it is - The Radar One-Minute Bible (King James Version).

    LORD? LORD. Unto thee. LORD. LORD's. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. Unto thee. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD? LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. Unto thee? LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. Unto thee. Unto thee. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. Lord! LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. Unto thee. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. LORD. Lord. LORD. Lord. Lord. Lord? Thou, Lord? Lord's. Lord. Lord. Lord. Unto men. Lord.

    Amen.

    Richard Cooke
    http://radar.smh.com.au/archives/2005/09/our_world_with_4.html

    But this is a really gfood idea. I took the liberty of asking Word (so I guess Val is helping me with this) to make some of your more boring posts endurable.

    Summary
    New Audio APIs for Vista
    All the existing audio APIs have been re-plumbed to use these APIs internally, for Vista, all audio goes through these three APIs. MMDEVAPI:
    Device Topology:
    WASAPI:
    In "shared" mode, audio streams are rendered by the application and mixed by the global audio engine before they're rendered out the audio device. In "exclusive" mode, audio streams are rendered directly to the audio adapter, and no other application's audio will play.

    Now that is quite succint, isn't it? Perhaps the blog developers should automatically autosummarise all blogs to 7%. Then everyone could read 21 times as many blogs in the same time raising productivity by 2,100%.

    MS owes us this for making us spend 101% of our time deleting spam.
  • OK, I know this is going OT...(err...off-topic, not Old Testament ;)

    >>MS owes us this for making us spend 101% of our time deleting spam.

    I hope you're joking...

    That's a curious leap of logic, isn't it? Even assuming that Outlook's [Express, Exchange, Hotmail] spam filters were 0% effective (on the contrary, my default filter catches all but a handful), why is it their fault you spend all your time deleting spam?

    I agree that Hotmail's filters could certainly be better, but I don't blame MS for the spam problem. To me that's like blaming the postal service for unwanted mailings from local retailers.

    Why don't we blame the people who send spam? Why don't we encourage efforts from companies like MS and AOL to hunt these people down and destroy their business?

    I'll stop before I get on a soapbox about the nature of responsibility...
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