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Confessions of an Old Fogey
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Last Wednesday wasn't a really good day for the home team...

Last Wednesday wasn't a really good day for the home team...

  • Comments 18

Another personal post, I'm sorry about that, but life's been a smidge crazy.

 

So this is Valorie's car as of last week Wednesday afternoon. 

06-07-07_1641

The good news is that (as you can see) Daniel and Valorie are both fine (as far as we know, just aches and pains), however I can't say the same for her car.  We just got word from the body shop that it's toast. 

Major bummer.

Btw, while duct tape may hold the universe together, it didn't hold the rear door of the car - by the time it made it to the body shop, the duct tape had given way and the door was loose.

 So now we're looking for a new car...

  • That sucks. Glad everyone is okay...

  • Glad everyone is ok.  View the car's destruction as a plus.  For one, it protected your family, for two it's an ugly, ugly, car and you needed to get rid of it.  

    Whoever made the decision on that one should stay home while you car shop.  Only let them in to help choose between the final three models you narrow it down to.

  • Why do you dislike the 'benz station wagon so much?

    I don't think it's any different from any other wagon out there.

    We're actually thinking about replacing it with an R class.

  • I think we're missing something here. Umm... Who's the guy in the picture?

  • That's Daniel.

  • My wife was in an accident just a couple of weeks ago. It happened on a the freeway offramp. This exit always gets backed up.

    The car in front of her stopped short. She slammed on her brakes to avoid that car, the car behind her stopped just inches from her. Well, the car behind that was still going 50 mph when it slammed into the car behind my wife's van. That sent the car hurling into the back of my wife's van in a chain reaction.

    To top it all off, the one who started the accident was uninsured!

    I'm glad everyone was ok. My wife had our 2-year old grandsons (twins) in the van with her. Everyone was ok but she was very shaken up. Now she's very nervous driving on that stretch of road.

    Some people should just not be on the road.

  • The NYPD left a 'benz wagon in an abandoned lot to bait car thieves.  Three days later they'd not only failed to catch a single car thief but they'd run up a $15,000 tow bill hauling away all the 'benz wagons citizens discarded when they saw the open gate and recognized the opportunity.

    In Louisville, Ky a salvage yard owner clearing his 40 acre lot for future development had gotten rid of all but one vehicle - an old but functional flatbed truck.  Eager to rid himself of the truck he filled the gas tank, placed the keys in the ignition and chained his new benz wagon on the back before disabling the lift and leaving for vacation.  When he returned he found the truck still there, the tank empty, the lift fixed and 47 'benz wagons scattered around his property.  On the truck seat was a pile of thank you notes and a stack of signed titles.

    PETA recently filed suit against a southern California guard dog company alleging animal cruelty. Numerous dobermans, rottweilers, and german shepherds showed signs of severe psycological abuse.  When testimony came out in court that the dogs had been transported to local prisons in 'benz wagons the judge was outraged and ordered that the facility be shut down and the owners fined for extreme cruelty.

    Following publication of that verdict an observant psycologist connected the large number of prison guards he'd been treating for post traumatic stress disorder with the guard dog duty changes.  Hypnosis performed on the guards revealed they'd been emotionally scarred by the repeated sightings of the 'benz wagons.  The guards are now on lifetime disability and the owners of the dog training facility are up on multiple federal charges of assault.

    In Louisiana a man and his wife divorced.  She brought most of the money into the marriage and she took most of it out.  As part of the divorce settlement he kept a small house and a goat farm, and she was forced to buy him a car.  She purchased a 'benz wagon.  When he parked it on his street the neighbors complained it brought their property values down and sued.  He lost and was forced to move the car to the goat farm and park it there.  

    The goats immediately began puking, couldn't quit, and quickly died of starvation.  The USDA became concerned about the mass goat death and investigated.  They ignored the hundreds of goat carcasses, but after seeing the 'benz wagon on the property they alerted the EPA.  The EPA arrived en mass and, having never seen such a severe blight on land as pristine as a goat farm covered with rotting meat, declared the 'benz wagon hazardous waste and labelled the surrounding land as a superfund site.  

    The man was forced to sell his house to help pay for cleanup - which required the car be carefully removed, crushed, and then smelted under strict agency supervision.  Homeless he was forced to sleep on the street.  His ex-wife went out and purchased a second 'benz wagon then parked it beside his cardboard box as he slept.  When he awoke and turned toward the street the shock of what he saw gave him a heart attack and he died.

    His ex-wife is now on trial for jury tampering and supsicion of multiple homicide.  She was tried for his murder - twice - but both trials ended abruptly after all the jurors mysteriously fell ill and died or were committed to mental institutions.  Evidence for these latest charges will be presented beginning today - the prosecutor is once again expected to begin with pictures of the 'benz wagon in question.

    Wagons is ugly.  'benz wagons is uglier.

  • Sorry Larry, I've got to agree it's an ugly car. I'm biased against station wagons though. It does look very spacious...

  • A government minister was driving, allegedly while drunk, slammed into another car pushing it off a bridge and killing some non-humans[*], and left the scene.  He was caught later and is now standing trial.

    He testified that he wasn't too drunk to control his car.

    I think his testimony should be accepted.  He didn't accidentally slam into the other car due to being drunk.  He did it intentionally.  His confession of murder should be accepted.

    [* Usually non-humans are foreigners, but in this case they were Japanese, but that doesn't matter.  When it's anyone vs. a government employee, anyone has no human rights.]

  • Ouch.  I'm glad everyone's ok and that this is merely inconvenient.  I guess the frame/sides did their jobs in absorbing the impact...

  • Poor E-class. :(

    I can see why you want to stick with Mercedes-Benz, though; they're great cars. Though I personally prefer BMW's. They don't have anything the size of the R-class, though.

  • Yup - you can't see it in the picture, but the driver's side rear door is sprung slightly - apparently that side of the car is about 1/2 inch shorter .

  • Oh.. photo says, it was not a minor accident. Glad to hear that both the family members are ok. best wishes.

  • James, that post is pure delight!

    Yeah, I'm not a big wagon fan, but for what I do shlepping kids, horse stuff, mondo costco runs and stuff, a wagon is a better choice for me. It got much better mileage than an SUV or minivan of comparable cargo capacity and yet was clearly a very safe car to drive. We rent minivans and SUVs on trips and I have to say that I really hate driving them. I haven't found one that I could stand to drive for even short periods.

    Not to mention that it was a hoot to drive on certain, winding, hilly roads at 60 and 70 mph :-) Bummer that all the ones I used to play rollercoaster on are too developed to play on anymore.

    Let's face it: I'm really a southern (c)hick who really wants to drive a beat-up truck filled with hay and other farm equipment. Larry may have brought me to the city but he hasn't managed to temper my (poor) taste in cars ;-)

    We did end up buying a diesel M320. I'm already calling it the silver hearse.

  • It's a nit, but it's an R350.  Not that it matters.

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