The Day Before Christmas (With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston)
'Twas the day before Christmas, when all down the street
Not a single thing moved, no one made a peep;
The snow had blanketed the entire neighbourhood,
And we all knew that St. Nick soon would lighten the mood;
The boys were happy as school's out for the season,
As for running amok, they don't need a reason;
Mom was making the rounds looking for gifts at the mall
And Dad was getting snow sledding gear arranged in the hall,
When at the front door there arose such a clatter,
The whole family rushed downstairs to see what was the matter.
The boys left the Wii, to the front door still in their pajamas,
And looked all around liked two startled Peruvian llamas.
The air was quite cold and on the ground a foot of new snow
So the boys stayed inside as they weren't ready to go.
They looked down the driveway and stared at a sight
Of two looming new snowmen towering over their height,
Old Dad had shoveled the driveway and collected the snow,
A tonne and a half at the driveway below.
More rapid than llamas the boys quickly dressed,
Thinking that with a few snowballs they would make quite a mess;
"Now, c'mon CJ!" said Max, "Get on all your clothes,
"We'll surprise our poor daddy with a pile of wet snow."
To the top of the driveway crouched behind a white wall
And made dozens - no hundreds - of little snowballs.
As Dad came up they let the wild hurricane fly,
Throwing slushy and sopping projectiles into the sky,
And up, up in the air the weapons all flew,
When they hit, there'd be trouble, they certainly knew.
But Dad had prepared, and looked at the snow on the roof
And had set a small trap that he triggered with a "whoof."
As the snow picked up speed and made its way down,
The boys turned to see what was making the sound.
They looked up and all they could see was a sea of white fluff,
Too late to move, this was going to be rough. They tried to duck and run for some cover,
And all they could do was scream for their mother!
The avalanche -- how it twinkled! The volume so scary!
This experience was going to be anything but merry!
So with a loud thump the snow was upon them,
It really did dump all over and cover them.
And then there was Dad coming up from the street,
With a pile of fresh snow for another holiday treat.
He saw the two boys up to their necks in wet snow,
And said "Here's some more" with his eyes all aglow.
In a wink of an eye, the boys now full of dread,
As Dad piled on more snow 'til it covered their heads.
Dad didn't say a word, as he went straight to his work,
Dragging out both boys from the snow with a jerk,
And with his fingers in the shape of an 'L' on his forehead,
He taunted the boys one last time, undaunted.
Dad sprang for the door and slammed it up tight,
Whilst the boys pounded on the door with all their might.
Then I heard him exclaim, knowing it would be a long day,
"Happy Christmas to all, and remember to duck out of the way."
Tags: articles, what I write, humor, humour.