The Onion has an informative article titled Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product that discusses Apple's latest product, the iLaunch. Here's a quote:

Described in its patent filing as a "hype-generating mechanism with fully integrated Mac compatibility," the iLaunch is powered by Intel dual-core processors optimized to calculate a product's gravitas. Apple claims the iLaunch can garner the same amount of press attention as a major scientific discovery, high court ruling, celebrity meltdown, or natural disaster at 200 times the speed of a traditional media-fostered launch.

The article does say at the end that Microsoft will be releasing a product called the Launch-O in 2009. Here in MacBU, we're looking closely at both offerings to see which one better fits into our needs. We have a long history of supporting Apple technologies, so we're tracking this closely. We have the upcoming launch of Office:Mac 2008, so we're quite interested to see how this can help our launch.

I hesitate to say this, because I dislike questioning the intelligence of you, dear reader, but I'll say this in case some random guy pops by (and I'm okay with questioning the intelligence of random guys who pop by): This is humour, folks. The Onion is satire.