Holy cow, I wrote a book!
I dreamed that one of my friends had made the U.S. cycling team.
(Perhaps because everybody else got busted for doping.)
Even more implausibly, I also made the team.
To celebrate, he challenged me to a short race.
The path ran along a river,
in which a medium-sized boat was setting sail.
Our bicycles somehow could fly (which we considered perfectly normal)
and we were flying over the boat, just about keeping pace with it.
The boat reversed direction many times, and we reversed along with it.
At one of the reversals, I thought,
"I could take a shortcut if I kept going straight,"
but I must've lost even/odd count because I flew off the boat...
heading back to the starting line.
For some reason,
we were in Sweden,
and the race commentator saw a school labeled
and made some remark about repurposing buildings
left over from the Olympics.
In Korea, it is generally believed that leaving a fan on in an enclosed room
can be fatal.
looks at cultural superstitions
and wrote a Slate article focusing on
the scourge of Korean fan death.
My mother told me that handling cellophane tape makes you sterile.
Though that may have just been her way of getting me to stop
playing with cellophane tape.
What strange cultural superstitions exist in your part of the world?
(Of course, this is a bit of an unfair question, because if you genuinely
believe it, then you won't recognize it as a strange cultural superstition!)
Clarification: Please reply in the spirit of the article.
Keep it fun.
It looks like the Visio blog
populated a sample organizational chart
with pictures of Microsoft employees,
and I am now Oliver Lee, Director of Strategic Planning.
My secret identity has been revealed.
I'm moonlighting at Contoso.
Remember, the term Microspeak is not
tightly scoped to
mean jargon used only at Microsoft.
It's jargon used at Microsoft more often than in general usage.
Today, it's a term that you really need to master if you want
to talk with others about project planning.
To book a feature is to commit to implementing the feature,
including assigning resources to get it done.
This means finding designers to design the feature,
developers to implement it,
and testers to test it,
as well as (the hardest part) finding time in the schedule to do it.
The resource that is in shortest supply is usually time,
since there is no way to create more of it.
More generally, a resource is booked when it is committed to
This is a natural extension of the concept of booking a room
in a hotel or a seat on a train.
Here are some citations.
We will be using the Widget framework that Bob is booked
to finish in July.
There are no resources booked for enhancing the Widget framework
this release cycle.
The Widget team knows that we need this feature from them,
but they haven't booked it yet,
so we need to develop a fallback plan.
The term is in general use,
but for some reason, Microspeak uses it almost exclusively
to describe the commitment to completing a particular piece of work
by a particular date.
Instead of saying that the work is committed or
we say that it is booked.
(If you use one of the other words, people may ask for clarification.
For example, if you say that it is committed,
some people might think you mean that the change has already been
submitted to the source code repository.)
Curiously the antonym of booked is not unbooked.
If a feature has no resources assigned to it,
the preferred term is unfunded.
I dreamed that a colleague and I were looking for a copy
of a TN3270 emulator in order to investigate a bug.
The search took us into an abandoned-looking Building 5.
But upon entering,
we discovered that Building 5 was actually the secret
lair of all the Administrative Assistants.
Oh, and we eventually found the bug in TN3270.
It was an application bug that caused it to leave the
laser on for too long in one spot,
causing it to burn your thumb.
I dreamed that I was living in a nursing home in some
Brazil-like dystopic future.
In this future, people had become so
horribly disfigured that they wore flesh-colored suits
under their clothes all the time just so they would look
This vanity extended only to people under the age of around 40.
The old people in the home were
just your average old people,
with spotted, wrinkly skin.
Nothing particularly ugly about them; just your average old people.
In the dream, I was my current
age, but I was living in the home anyway, probably because I
became prematurely senile.
A dentist spontaneously
appeared to give me a futuristic dental procedure.
("Hey, how'd you get here and what is that zappy thing
in my mouth?"
Did I mention that I was senile?)
After she was done, the dentist said,
"I fixed your back four teeth."
"You made them last longer?" I asked.
"No, they'll fail at about the same time as before.
They'll just fail differently now."
"What did you do?" I asked.
"I'd rather not say. You can look in
With trepidation, I looked in the mirror.
My eyes were no good, so I had to ask somebody to
tell me what happened.
"Dear God, she installed leeches in your mouth!
Mind you, she did a really nice job,
getting them to criss-cross like that."
The dentist and dental assistant were hideously disfigured,
and I did not notice until later that each had one arm and
The dentist's and assistant's stumps snapped together like
a garden hose,
making them a grotesque conjoined dental crew.
In 2010, a group of scam artists
pretended that they were making a film,
A Landscape of Lies.
They did this so that they could claim
over £2.7 million in tax credits
intended to boost the British film industry.
Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs began to suspect something was up
when no apparent progress was being made on the project
the film company's "office" was an empty room.
The scammers tried to make the project look legitimate by
actually making a movie
releasing it on DVD.
can watch the trailer here.)
The fake movie was convincing enough to trick one film festival
into giving it an award (which it later had to
DHS-based television show
also to have been a scam.
I dreamed that two of my colleagues
were playing a game based on
pantomiming Unicode code points.
One of them got LOW QUOTATION
MARK, and the other got a variety of ARROW POINTING NORTHEAST, ARROW
POINTING EAST, ARROW POINTING SOUTHWEST.
I wonder how you would pantomime ZERO WIDTH NON-JOINER.
I observed a spill suspiciously close to a three-year-old's
"How did the floor get wet?"
She replied, "Water."
but it's definitely not telling the whole story.
She'll probably grow up to become a lawyer.
I dreamed that a friend of mind said,
"Between your tenant and
your lover, you should get along with at least one of