Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

H. Eckler — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 20:23:01 GMT

Better than hearing

Maintenance crew in cockpit. They just told the pilot that the airplane "blue screened."

Sorry, RC, I couldn't resist.

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Chris Hutchcroft — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 06:53:34 GMT

I was on the tarmac in an Airbus when we taxied back to the terminal. Turns out one of the two computers had an error, and though there was a redundant computer, they wouldn't start out with one already crashed.

Enter the tech, and they had to reboot the computer. Turns out the only way to reboot it was to cycle the power... for the entire jet. Which they did many times, each time the lights and air conditioning cutting out. Now I know why flying with only one would not be an option.

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Harvey Pengwyn — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 20:16:59 GMT

There was a story that the head of [insert large plane maker here] said he would only fly in 4 engined planes.

Why, he would be asked.

'Because there are no 5 engined planes'.

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Igor — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 04:01:47 GMT

One of double fault cases is when both the aileron and elevator are stuck at different deflections.

Checklists

Ry Jones — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 03:45:26 GMT

the "glossy manual" she used is a checklist. That she said "don't panic" and used the checklist shows her professionalism.

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Sherrod Segraves — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 20:25:18 GMT

@Hayden:

I had something similar happen to me once. I was in a small plane flying from Texarkana, Texas to Dallas when the cabin filled with a light haze of smoke, and something that looked like maple syrup was leaking out of the left engine.

I was sitting in the front row of passenger seats, so I got a good view.

The pilot was young, and she looked like she might be new. The first thing she did was pick up the intercom and announce "There's no need to panic!" Then she opened up and read through a glossy manual for a few minutes. After that, she shut down the left engine. Thankfully, we returned to Texarkana without any more problems.

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Hayden — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 18:22:52 GMT

Got on to a local plane at Schipol Airport. We sit for a bit, then the pilot starts the engines. To the right, the blades go round jerkily for a bit, then the engine catches, and it runs. Left hand engine does the same routine, and just spits out smoke and coughs. After a few minutes trying, some greasmonkeys appear, lift covers off the engine, yank on a few things, tut, scratch heads, then get down. We then get off the plane, and have to get on another one.

Now, this plane just recently landed. So if the engine had started, we'd have been off, with an engine that was about to die. Nice thought.

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Sven Groot — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 10:35:03 GMT

"Anecdotally, it's a truly amazing experience to go from being entirely surrounded by clouds and having no visibility whatsoever to suddenly dropping out of the bottom of the layer a few feet above your DH or MDA (minimum descent altitude, the rough equivalent for so-called non-precision approaches) to see the runway stretching out right in front of you."

When I do this in Flight Simulator, I usually end up with the runway way to the left or right of me. :P In other words: precision ILS approaches, not my strong point. Especially in a small aircraft with strong crosswinds.

Playing Flight Simulator X online can also lead to some very interesting ATC conversations. A funny one I had recently, while flying around Gatwick (UK):

Aircraft A: "Tower, can you confirm my position. I don't know where I am."

Tower: "Aircraft A, Gatwick Tower, I don't have you on my scope."

Aircraft A: "Gatwick tower, I appear to be in Canada."

Me: "Just fly east for a bit..."

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

Drak — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 08:59:32 GMT

I was on a plane scheduled to fly from London Luton to Amsterdam, and the captain cam e on the intercom: 'Welcome to flight ###. We will be departing for Paris in a few minutes'.

Everyone was looking puzzled, at eachother, and the captain came back on: 'Uhm, it seems I won't get to see the Eiffel tower today, we're going to Amsterdam instead'.

Sighs of relief ensued :)

re: Overheard conversation in the cockpit that you might not want to have heard

cs gaerlan — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 04:04:36 GMT

"Double faulted" really means the plane's dumb--it commits two faults per crew that enters the cockpit. Well, no, on second thought it means there was a tremor in the cockit due to two faults--aren't quakes caused at times by faults? It's everybody's fault, really.