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We are sooo doomed as a species.

We are sooo doomed as a species.

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I bump into people now and then, even up here in the near orbit of Redmond, who either don’t have an email address or don’t check it regularly. Being a hyper-connected person (my man-portable gadgets radiate enough EM to keep me warm in the winter), these people always remind me that I don’t live on the same planet with most people. [Do you know how hard it is to buy a motorcycle via craigslist from somebody who only checks email once a week?!]

However, these lies, damn lies and statistics from a Harris Interactive survey (sponsored by Intel) boggle the mind:

People would forgo sex and television watching for two weeks rather than lose a week's worth of access to the Internet. Not Tonight Honey, I've Got the Internet (InternetNews.com)

Um. No.

If you’d rather give up sex for two weeks than a week without lolcats, wasted hours WoWing, playing Solitaire Online and watching stupid BlewTube videos... well, please get out of the gene pool. If  you’ve already got kids, put them up for adoption before you corrupt them further. Really. Also, you’re doing it wrong.

If natural disasters, meteors, super-volcanoes, gamma ray bursts, space aliens, zombies, climate change or bloody unicorns don’t wipe us out, we’re still doomed as a species... because Algore invented the webbernetz.

I’ll be over here in the corner weeping for all the kids in the “third world” that we’re going to be giving free laptops and Internet access. It’s only a matter of time for them, too. *cry*

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