One of my coworkers received this from a friend. The author is the friend’s daughter. I thought you’d all enjoy this, so I got permission to post it.
Ode to Word By Rebecca Smith
My word! It's Word!
Wow, Look at that shiny blue thing that's the title I think it's a W But it looks like Either Arabic or Elvish.
Project Gallery. Sounds interesting. Pre-made budget documents? What if child care isn't in my budget?
So I click on Newsletter. My word, this is a gallery. I'm stuck between "dragon" and "formal" Ok, "formal"
Intriguing. It seems I have a "Newsletter Wizard" at my disposal. Theme? well I wanted "Automotive" But now my titles have gone blank So perhaps I'll choose "Construction zone"
It does look like a construction zone a graphical one
no I think my spelling is fine, thank you Word is spelled word and I don't HAVE to capitalize the first letter it's a poem for cryin' out loud! my word.
Perhaps a blank document. How is the default font Times in 12? Don't you know that it's impossible to see Times in 12?
Helvetica in 14 will do No Even though you, Oh mighty Word, Are licensed to William Smith I do not mean to type William Smith Every time I type "will"
My word, It seems it KNOWS That I NEED Times in 12 But I don't
Let's see There's gotta be a way To turn some of this stuff off Perhaps I will ask the little animated computer in the corner The one who's rearranged himself as a Rubic's cube...
My word! I don't care what you say But it's about as slow Typing-wise As my grandpa's little Macintosh Classic II 1993! In that It still has to think Before you change stuff And there's a delay From when you push the key To when you see the letter
My word, look! If I just type To w It gives me the option of writing "To Whom It May Concern:" which is handy 'cause I use that phrase so often
is it true that it takes Tools out of the Toolbar if you don't use them often? What is the point of having a Toolbar If there are no tools in it?
But of course! What I REALLY want Is for my headings to print bigger Than they appear So that they're cut off And for my pictures To all move 2 inches Towards the top left-hand corner And for my I's To always be automatically capitalized Which is sometimes helpful Unless you're typing in a foreign language, or gibberish When you need a lot of UNCAPITALIZED, UNAUTOFORMATTED, UNAUTOCORRECTED i's
My WORD! Who Got paid To think up The name WORD? They were thinking Which WORD best describes a WORD-processing application And they thought up WORD My WORD, Could you use a dumber WORD Than WORD??????