Well I had so much fun with my parody of A Few Good Men that I got inspired when I was listening to Bonnie Tyler yesterday.

 

So here's another cautionary tale, don't let this happen to your manager :)

 

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Holding Out For A [Coding] Hero


Where has all the good code gone
And where are all the geeks?
Where's the byte-wise Socrates
To teach some real techniques
Isn't there a White Hat to make some crazy speed?
Don't they know that a splash-screen
Isn't what I really need!?


[Chorus]


I need a hero!
I'm hoping that a bright hero's gonna save me some bytes
He's gotta be smart
And he's gotta work fast
Cuz we know that he's in for some fights


I need a hero!
I know that my hero's gonna work through the nights
And I know he's no fool
And the code will be cool
With no bugs in the lines that he writes
Lines that he writes....


Somewhere after M2
In my schedule fantasy
Sometime in a code review
That's when our hero's gonna fix the tree
Rip out all the code bloat
And make it all run sweet
It's gonna take a superman
To make this code compete!

 

[Chorus]


It doesn't matter if it's managed VB
Could be written in Python or C
He can fix all the codebase problems
Guaranteed

Work the build and the tests for some gains
He's a coding machine.
I can see his approach
Like a fire on my screen!

 

Like a fire on my screen!
Like a fire on my screen!
Ah!  Ah!


[Chorus]