I'm in a coffee shop trying to get some work done, and the woman next to me is clicking her pen maniacally. I'm losing my reason. What do you do with this? Microsoft public relations training--where they teach you to respond to even the most offensive question or trying situation with a smile and a cookie--did not address the freakish-pen-clicker scenario. I need to work! I have half of my coffee left! There are no other seats!

What would Robbie Bach do?

Robbie Bach probably got the deluxe PR training, where they DID cover this.

I'm losing my reason, people.

Saints preserve us.