In my previous post I mentioned that the spam world is colloquially referred to as Spamatopia (actually, the only one who refers to it that way is me). Well, this past weekend I had the chance to visit Spamatopia so I thought I'd tell the tale of what it was like in my next few posts.
I decided to use a forged passport to get into the place; it was surprisingly easy to use, obviously the Border Patrol of Spamatopia doesn't have the greatest of security procedures as they are more used to breaking into places rather than keeping others out. I used the name "Jonathan Bourne" and that I was from Nashville, Tennessee. I have no particular reason for using that as my address, I've never even been to Tennessee.
Anyways, I flew into Spamatopia late one evening into the Michelangelo International Airport. Michelangelo is the capital of Virus Valley, so named after an infamous virus that arose during the early 1990's. I cleared customs pretty easily and they didn't even bother to stamp my passport. They just asked how long I was going to be there (two or three days) and where I was planning on staying. I replied - and I am not making this up - that I was going to find a place under a bridge and stay there for the next couple of days. Since it was summer, I figured I wouldn't get cold at night. The agent flipped through my passport, handed it back to me and said "Next".
I went and collected my luggage and went to the rental car place where I rented a vehicle for a couple of days. Rather than hand over my credit card I decided I was going to pay cash. Spamatopia has its own currency but it also accepts US dollars. I had a wad of cash with me because I didn't trust any of the cash machines to not steal my PIN code and card number, and I especially didn't trust anybody with my credit card. So, cash it was for the duration of my trip. I normally don't carry a lot of cash with me but in Spamatopia I knew I had to make an exception.
In my next post, I'll go into more detail about the various sites of Michelangelo. I didn't stay there long, but I got enough of a glimpse to get a feel for what it was like.
Note to readers: this story is pure fiction.
As I said in my last post, I travelled to Spamatopia last week and landed in Michelangelo, the capital