One Louder

I took last week to chill-out (as much as is possible for me) and I admit spending a lot of time on the couch including one full day watch a marathon of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency (don't just....it's a vacation!). I also admit to getting a little obsessive with the label maker. Let's just say that nobody will open my linen closet or look under a bed and have trouble figuring out what's there. Sometimes I annoy myself.

Anyway, back at work and I'm circling the drain a bit. No excuses about the dearth of blogging activity. It's hard to come up with something witty to say when you've got a hundred other things swirling through your brain (like how come you "drive" a car but "ride" a motorcycle?). Also, not blogging during my time off was intentional.

Anyhoo, I am back and thought I would, in the spirit of corporate wonkery, share this site with you. My team is focused on providing competitive intelligence to our dev centers and a big part of most dev centers is R&D (aka MSR or Microsoft Research). So now I have somewhere to send people when they want to learn specifically about those types of opportunities in our global offices.

So more to come now that I am back. Once my head stops spinning for sure.

Don't even bother going here unless you have a good amount of time to kill. People must be under some serious pressure to actually leave passive aggressive notes like these (no, I never have). They certainly did not spend the morning meditating. Fortunately, while these people spent time mentally crafting their diatribe, many were quite creative. And some of them are just so crazy, that they are pure entertainment (camel fleas anyone?).

I will admit that there are some issues in my neighborhood that someone could seriously get passive aggressive about. I can't quite muster the aggressive part but these things bother me. I'm getting better at letting them go. Do I like the fact that someone in the neighborhood is growing corn in their front yard and one always seems to have a hoopty on blocks (and saggy jeans teenagers smoking and acting like thugs)? Nope. But I am not on a campaign or anything (and I secretly hope that maybe these folks will move somewhere else).

I do have to admit though, that when a new neighbor moved into the rental next door, I couldn't help openly complaining about people parking their RVs on the street (what is up with these people? I have never seen this anywhere else). Oops, didn't know that he had an RV (used to live around the corner and he actually had the electricity running out to it...sigh). There is something to be said for complaining though. He is now storing it at a friends house. If it was parked outside, it would have driven me nuts (like the previous neighbors who parked a non-running car outside my house for months). I would have subtly joked (shamed?) him into moving it. But I definitely would NOT have left a note.

In the west, I believe that we think in binary. Something is either horrible or awesome, but rarely a mix of both (I have another post about this and it involves Sharon Stone. Excited?). That doesn't work for me because sometimes things are both awesome and horrible (ponchos, for example.....please let them come back into style because they are totally impractical but I love them and I have a ton in my closet waiting for that day when I see them again in the Nordstrom catalog). I'm not sure if these are so horrible that they cross back over into awesomeness. Or maybe they are just awesible. You'd think the two couldn't mix and that what sits in the middle is just "meh", but that is not necessarily the case. Black plus white equals fuchsia.

Sometimes I think about these things as falling somewhere along a circle (like a clock face). And sometimes awesome sits at 3:00 and horrible sits at 9:00 and something plops right down at 12:00 noon. And that something will cause you to ask yourself repeatedly: "Do I love it or hate it?" and then you'll be like: "Why can't I get this out of my head?" And then, you are accidentally humming it on the treadmill at the gym. I give you the pancake song. It's a gift and you don't have to thank me.

Tip to Heather at Dooce.

For my lack of athletic prowess, I have been awarded one talent. I don't necessarily consider myself a talented person. But the one talent I will proudly admit to is this: I know where they hide the good stuff. Or more appropriately, I know where to find the good stuff (it just sometimes feels like someone has hidden it). No, you aren't having an 80s flashback; nobody is talking about that sticky Humboldt County bud (I had some interesting friends in college). I'm talking about stuff stuff. Like things, that you enjoy (like as a responsible adult with a job). It totally brings me pleasure to share the good stuff with my pals so that they can enjoy it as much as I do. Some people may say I have a good stuff obsession, but I think of it as just livin' life and being willing to experiment. As you can guess, most of my good stuff is food related.

Anyway, my friends, I didn't want you to be out of the loop on my regular updates on where to find the goods. I'm a giver. So as I find stuff, I'll share it. I'm good that way. Can you imagine what my conversations with my girlfriends are like?

Good stuff #1: Smoked Sea Salt

I bought this at the PCC (for you locals), though the company has a website. I have a little bit of a salt fixation. I keep a tray of assorted salts on the counter and this is the one I reach for the most. It is exactly what you think it is, only it's better. Last night, I made beer butt chicken with it. My favorite use is on whole wheat past with pesto, chicken and roasted tomatoes.The granules are small but they add a little crunch to whatever you put them on. The best part is that aside from salt, they taste of smoked-ness; not that nasty fake smoke flavor. I swear you will impress someone, if not everyone, if you use this stuff. I'm thinking I am going to use it to rim the glass of a nice bloody mary.

I also have to admit that part of the reason I want to discuss the good stuff is I want to give props to the people that make it. They are rarely huge corporations.I love making new discoveries and think that the world would be a boring place if all we got was the packaged stuff on the shelf of the average grocery store. (I'm about to sound like a Bud Light radio commercial): Hats off to you, Spanish smoked sea salt makers.

Whoah, interesting weather weekend. When I hear the weather folks here talking about the "extreme heat", I have to laugh a little bit. I like heat. I like to sweat; it feels very cleansing. Plus, there is nothing like a cold salad and a glass of Chardonnay on a hot summer day. Of course, that's not exactly how my weekend went down. I did make a beer butt chicken though.

I do this thing on weekends when I don't have significant plans. My very active brain starts taking inventory of projects. I'd have a hard time just sitting around: nothing on TV, can only do so much reading at a time (just finished James Frey's 'Bright Shiny Morning' and it was awesome!). Me to self: "what insane project can I accomplish this weekend?" Oh, many an obsessive project has begun this way. I wanted to be outside and sweat; I wanted to have something to show for it at the end of the weekend.

Sometimes, I think my garage looks like that commercial where the guy drives his car into a precisely car-shaped space in his garage among all the junk. I did a little cleaning when I bought my beast, but there was so much more to do. Plus, I have enjoyed the purging. Plus I still had some stuff in the garage from several owners ago (roofing tacks? Anyone?). And I had some stuff I needed to wheel out to the curb and stick a "free" sign on. This is something I love about my neighborhood: people will show up and take away your treadmill and your hose caddy for you!

I totally purged my garage. I sorted everything into bins, I hosed the concrete, I wiped stuff down, I made a huge pile for the waste management guys and made a big trip to the local charity drop-off.It took me a day and a half and when it was done, I got out the label-maker. Those of you that aren't thinking "cool!" are thinking I am nuts. And I did this all on the hottest day (well, day and a half) of the year. Purge junk and sweat your butt off: check!

I keep walking into the garage to enjoy my work. Did I mention my label maker?

Anyway, it was sunny and in the 90s this weekend. It was actually a little humid as well, which was odd. My asthma was kicking when I ran (yes, I am one of those nut jobs that will run on hot days. Did I mention I like to sweat?). I had multiple fans on in the bedroom to sleep. I kept checking Jonas' water bowl. It was H-O-T.

Last night, I could totally sleep (which if you've been following my blog is remarkable just based on my sleep patterns). And this morning it is 65 degrees and rainy (my grass is thankful). A thirty degree temperature difference overnight. I'm not really a glass half full kind of a person. When the glass is half empty, I'm wondering where the next drink is coming from ("waiter!"). But as much as I enjoyed the heat this weekend, I am also enjoying the rain and breeze and temperature today. And I'm thankful that today's weather didn't really happen until I got all my stuff done.

I did a meditation on gratitude late last week. It's amazing how many things you can be thankful for when that is all you think about for 15 minutes. You realize you are thankful for things that you never really thought about before. And so I am wondering if maybe that has carried over to today. I am thankful for the hot weather, the cool weather and the water that falls from the sky. And most of all, I am thankful for my kick-ass, super clean garage.

I thought this was really cool. Especially since I've been staying up to watch the Olympics and have to eventually fall asleep every night (did you notice that? I actually fall asleep every night). It's nice to know that I can get video of the events online.

I love that you can search by sports and get alerts. Rock on, MSN (oh yeah, and NBC, I'm starting to forgive you for that GW interview). From what I understand, the scale of this project is significant. They are offering thousands of hours of content (say what?) including live coverage of events (in case you are stuck at work when something important is happening). Not that I would EVER watch TV online at work. Never!

If this project interests you at all, you can learn more at OnTen and read about it on CNET. 

Of course, Silverlight is the technology behind all of this. Oh, excuse me if I geek out over some MSN stuff. It's the Olympics, people.

So, you know, I am totally into the Olympics. They will pretty much be on whenever I have a free moment. Obsessive much?

I'm a little too preoccupied with actually watching the Olympics, and work and stuff to recap them in any way. I have learned not to volunteer to do that any more. The "why did I say I was going to do this?" feeling is the same every time. But I've got a few impressions so far that I wanted to share. And I know that some people will disagree. It is what it is.

The Opening Ceremonies. Worthy of DVRing for sure. The best part was the look of excitement and pride on the faces of the Chinese participants. I have to admit, that I have a place in my brain where all memories of opening ceremonies go. I hate to say this....they all kind of seem the same for me. Whether the wonder is due to the human performance and synchronization or the ability of technology to do the same, well, they all kind of blend together for me. The scope and effects are spectacular, but considering what we see on TV, I guess I am a little desensitized to it. And I imagine it would be better in person. The parade of nations is cool. I record it and then fast forward, stopping for the US, countries where my peeps are from (Erie, Polska, Deutschland, uh, The Netherlands, England and Scotland....sorry, here we see the limits of my language skills) and countries I have visited. I like the stories (like the young Chinese boy who pulled people out of the earthquake rubble because he was the hall monitor and it was his job...gotta love that little kid). I figure that the announcers can stop saying that this is the best opening ceremony ever and will never be topped. You can't say that every time. And either they forgot that they have said this before or think we have. Just a bit too much gushing.

The other thing that I always notice about the opening ceremonies is the excessive use of hard to understand symbolism. This symbolizes this, that symbolizes that. I am sure it's hard to resist the quest for deeper meaning in the ceremonies, but mostly I just want to be entertained. I love the Chinese culture though, so it was all good. And I will never remove from my mind the faces of the people operating the printing blocks. Their sweetness and exuberance jumped through the screen.

***

Michael Phelps makes me want to rethink my affinity for the underdog. In some ways, doing what nobody has done before kind of makes you the underdog. I have very mixed feelings. Would kind of like to see someone take one away from him but really wants him to get his 7 medals. He's a super-human, awesome freak of nature. Sunday nights 4x100 freestyle relay almost gave me a heart attack. Awesomeness!

***

Speaking of the underdog thing, I have to admit that I enjoy watching some other countries beat us in events. When you hear about our medal counts during the games, it sounds like in many sports we are dominant. So that underdog thing of wanting the unexpected to happen means that sometimes there's an upset. You can't help but feel happy for the winners from the other countries. Of course you want the American team to do their best, but did you see the 23rd seed  Latvian beach volleyball team beat the second seed US team in pool play (not single elimination)? You couldn't help but be excited for them. This is where you sing "we are the world" and talk about being citizens of planet earth. I can feel it.

***

OK and the political thing. Again, just my opinion and I am open to people disagreeing with me, just not people being nasty about it. So feel free to respond. I was really disappointed to see Jim Lampley or Bob Costas or whoever it was (I sometimes have trouble telling them apart) interviewing the President on foreign policy with China. What was this, freaking Meet the Press? I wanted sportsmanship. Hey, NBC put the team sports no CNBC and other categories of content on other channels. Perhaps they could have saved the political stuff for another venue. This just totally rubbed me the wrong way, I think that the Olympics is an opportunity for people to discover what we have on common and learn about each other.

Anyway, I personally found the focus on political stuff inappropriate. Take it up in a foreign policy forum, but let's just focus on the harmony and competition of the Olympics. It's like people from other countries not liking our government and therefore thinking all Americans are bad. I think we should have a broader view of what "China" is. Is it the people or the government? I went to China in 1997 and I found the people lovely. And although there may be things from a human rights standpoint that we disagree with the Chinese on (and I am not minimizing those things), I think that focusing on it during the games really takes away from the positive aspects. Frankly, if we can't do a little compartmentalizing (hey, sometimes it's a good thing), I am not sure how many of us can get out of bed in the morning.

I'm totally all for the peaceful protests that took place during the torch relay. The attempts at torch-snatching, not so much. I guess my perspective is to keep the Olympic games themselves pure because there's so much good that comes out of it, and feel free to use the lead-up to the games (or even after the games) to make your political point peacefully. I've been reading and watching TV about the struggle for Tibetan independence and I don't want what I say to take away from that. But I don't think we will see the Dalai Lama condemning the games any time soon.

Maybe it's simple of me to want to keep the good and discard the bad, but we can always take the bad stuff up at another time and you know it will happen anyway. That interview during the games just totally harshed my buzz.

***

OK, one last thing. Did you see the look on the faces of the French team after the swimming relay Sunday night? I got a little too much pleasure out of that. Had they not said that they were going to "blast" the Americans, I would have actually felt a little bad for them (yeah, yeah, with their perfect bodies, endorsement deals, baguettes, wine and chocolate...I would have felt as bad for them as I could). But since they decided to bring on the cockiness, the looks on their faces felt a little like justice, or at least a reminder that you don't have to say out loud everything that you think because there's a good chance that you will be wrong. Yeah, I actually learned that lesson, earlier in life, the hard way.

I'm sure there will be more comments to come if I can ween myself off the TV long enough to write about it some more.

I think I mentioned that my team, this year, is supporting strategic dev centers with competitive research and programs (I know...you have no idea what that means). Anyway, I am learning as much as I can, as fast as I can, about the 6 development cetners we are going to focus on this year. Of course, our development center in Beijing is one of them.

The Seattle Times did this story on Ya-Qin Zhang, who leads our China office. I had no idea of his background. At 12 years old, I think I was skateboarding and talking on the phone. He was in college. Anyway, it looks like the Times is doing China-related stories because of the Olympics. I am so excited for the games. First of all, I love the spirit of competition (especially the stories....Dara Torres rocks). Plus it will be interesting to see the changes in Beijing since I was there in 1997. I imagine that they are dramatic, not only in preparation for the Olympics but due to the change in the business/cultural climate as briefly desribed in the article.

So I hope to have more to tell you about our dev centers. I plan on making a trip this year to at least one of them. Right now, my brain hurts from the mental download on 6 new (to me) locations when I have been supporting Redmond for 9 years. Totally excited.

I just don't understand how to explain why this makes me like Paris Hilton just a little tiny bit. I'm thinking about wearing a hoochie dress and hair extensions to watch the convention.

I also don't understand why John McCain says he watches The Hills, but his ads reflect negatively on Britney and Paris. At least they are interesting. The Hills, not so much.

It's getting weird so early. And Paris Hilton just totally one-upped John McCain. Dude.

Was at a meeting in the city today and pleated pants were all over the place. I am dismayed. Mother of pearl, those is some ugly pants. Please tell all of your friends that they are not allowed to wear pleated pants (man or woman, no matter). The lack of fashion acuity is seriously distracting.

 Let me put it this way:

1) If you are carrying a few extra pounds, you aren't kidding anyone with the pleats. They enhance the poundage. It looks like you have a diaper on in the front. And the straining pleats? The pleats are not supposed to open up! Even when pleasts were in style, they weren't suposed to do that. Stop it right now!

2) If you are thin and you are trying to look bulkier, you're not kidding anyone with the pleats. They look balloony. It looks like you have a diaper on in the front. Embrace your thinness, wear some kick ass flat-front trousers and then eat a big meal in front of us. We will all be very jealous.

 What kind of campaign do I have to create? I'm making a facebook group. Please take your old pleated pants, pile them in your yard, pull out a bag of marshamallows and set them on fire. The pants that is.

I know...I'm so shallow when it comes to the fashion stuff but I am just trying to help my fellow man. If I were committing a fashion felony, I would definitely want someone to tell me!

Just say no. Please and thank you.

Have you ever had that one dream about teeth? The one where your teeth start falling out and you can do nothing to stop it? I understand it's pretty common and it's about control. What a surprise. I have that dream now and then. Actually, it's kind of an episode in other dreams I have. Let's not analyze. My dreams revolve around a certain set of themes.

Speaking of dreams, I grind my teeth when I sleep. For the last few years, I have not been chewing on the right side of my mouth. I went through all the trouble of getting a gold crown (my gold gansta tooth...don't worry, it was in the back but I loved to show it off now and then), then I commenced to grind right through that sucker. It has been sensitive to pressure and temperature so long, I don't remember what it was like before.

So when I went into the dentists office recently, I said "I'm done". It was annoying. It never felt right and I wanted it fixed (preferably in white enamel). So last Friday, we took off the old crown (thank gawd for gas, especially at the moment when the doctor said "I am taking off the old crown and you may hear some crunching"). Um, yeah. I was in my happy place breathing deeply and thinking about the Grateful Dead. I was at that last show in Irvine Meadows with all the police lights. Anyhoo...

 They put on a temporary. Much joking commenced about the small size of the little white piece of plastic they put in my mouth Friday to, like, cover up the sensitive nerve stuff on my tooth. My bite immediately felt better. I could chew on the right side. Whee! And it was all great until...

Monday afternoon I ate tuna salad. I know. What was I thinking? Do rhetorical questions deserve a question mark? They don't seem to do the heavy lifting that normal questions do. I started to crunch into something and thought "why does this tuna have bones?" You know why? Because it was my plastic crown. Of the pieces I felt swimming around in my mouth, I retrieved two. Others unaccounted for. And I had almost 2 weeks to wait for my new crown to come in (which, unfortunately or fortunately, as the case may be, is again gold).

Monday, back at the dentist office, another new temporary. Extra cement. No gas this time....no drills, sanders, whatever they call that grindy stuff. Optimistic. Will try to only chew on the left side again. 2 hours later, I was eating rice crackers and not chewing on the right side, I swear. Then my crown was gone. I have to find a little humor in the fact that it got chewed up with rice crackers. Who would have known the difference?

I've decided to tough it out. Go without a temp. Try to ignore the urge for my tongue to find that jagged, amputated tooth edge. The pain is only dull. The kind of pain where you think" "should I take an Advil?" and then you notice that you have had a headache all day.

And it seems entirely likely that you are going to have that dream about the teeth again.

Subtitle: How I learned to love geeks.

It didn't happen immediately when I joined Microsoft. I think I was fully primed to appreciate geek-hood but I was not totally there yet. "Accept" and "appreciate" are two different things. I have a natural tendency to route for the underdog which started in my childhood. And if you don't think geeks are the underdogs in high school, well, then you probably went to a high school for the gifted and technically, that makes you....well, never mind. I'm about to prove my love for you.

I have mentioned that I went to a number of schools when I was a kid. One for K-4. One for part of fifth. One for the other part of fifth and part of sixth. Another one for sixth and another one for sixth and part of seventh (I think I got that right: CA, CA, PA, OH,OH, IL). Then settling in for the rest of 7-12. I was "The New Kid." Not the new kid on the block, because that would make me a middle age boy bander grasping for a last shot at relevance (or maybe to make a quick hit on selling merch to moms wanting a quick flashback to their own childhoods). Just a shy kid. Oh, how I hated starting a new school. Much of the time I could settle in somewhat, though I always felt new. A few times I got picked on. There's a circle of hell reserved for a couple of mean girl wannabees in Holland, PA. At the very least I hope they have big butts. And now I am going to let it go.

So I know what it's like to be picked on. I know, I know, hard to believe. I wasn't always as cool as I am now. Just take my word for it. Being picked on sucks. Now it's easy to look back and see that there was something very damaged about the picker (See? All that psych reading is paying off). I can even feel sorry for them at this point (well, mostly because of their HUGE butts). But when you are a kid, all you experience is the supreme suckage.I could never pick on other kids, even when I was feeling most secure. I couldn't be that mean. The only time I really gave anyone a hard time in high school was when they were picking on someone else. Then, they had it coming.

I guess I just noticed that in the scenario where someone is getting picked on, there's no winner. One person is an incredible asshat and the other is embarrassed. I knew enough to find the asshat distasteful. And of course, in high school especially, it was the geeks that got picked on a lot. I had a diverse set of friends and some of them even were geeks (I know!). I was kind of a floater. I'd never win on Big Brother. So on some level, I felt a secret kinship with the geeks because they knew what it was like to feel socially uncomfortable. Oh gawd, I still feel that way sometimes.

In all honesty, much of the kinship played out in my head. I wasn't really a geek. We didn't high five each other in the hallways. It's just that I was nice to them. I was the student who got picked to dance with the special ed kid in gym class and work in class with the new girl from China. There was no reason to say no. OK, this is taking too long to explain.

I wouldn't say that my high school experience produced an affinity for geeks. It's just that I didn't notice the geekiness as much as other people. And I appreciated the intellect that sometimes accompanies an odd style of dress and an ignorance of whatever "cool" trend is sweeping the teenage population.

Then in college, I adopted the concept of "our geeks". You know when your university has the best marching band in the history of the universe, you get comfortable with the idea. They may be band geeks, but they're our band geeks and they are Trojans. They are part of "us". One step closer to loving those geeks. Still love those Trojan band geeks.

I can't really say that my relationship with geeks underwent any kind of transformation in my early working years. I recruited accountants but I never really had to get to know them. I worked for an insurance company and the geeks hung out on another floor.

OK, so now Microsoft. Microsoft! What a shock to my system that was. I mean, I tried to prepare myself but nothing can prepare you for that. Packs of geeks. Geeky software geniuses that tell stupid technical jokes that I can't understand; that are afraid to talk to you in the hallway; that play foosball outside your office (someday I am going to let that one go), that go to technology fairs. Holy cow! Hey, one thing I can say that most of them had going for them: they didn't wear my fashion nemesis, pleated khakis (please don't do that to yourself....there's nothing good that can come of pleated pants, I promise). Mostly that happens in marketing (haha). What I found out is that usually, when you can get them talking, they are really interesting. And they will gladly help you fix your computer as long as you pretend to know about all the technical stuff they say while they are doing it (hint: ask lots of questions). And they are freaking brilliant. So they don't give a rip about fashion and talk about Battlestar Gallactica. Being "popular" doesn't really matter any more because the geeks are the ones that have had the successful careers while the people that picked on them have had less stellar professional outcomes. As a non-technical person, working at a technical company, I have SO come to appreciate geeky computer dudes (and gals). Because without them, I wouldn't be here. And I love that they have taken back the name "geek" and made it their own. Rock on!

Plus, I have come to embrace my inner geek. It's a ton of work trying to impress people and I've gotta tell you, it's just not worth it. Any interesting person geeks out over something. For me: fashion, handbags, home decor, books and healthy living (as I am mentally calculating my carb to protein ratio today). Hell, I even geek out over my job (I still think I have the best job). When we all acknowledge the little bit of geek inside of us and appreciate people who have the depth to get geeky about stuff that's really important (software changes peoples lives, people; it helps people who needs people; we are the world, we are the people....wait, that's not right), it kind of pulls us all into this middle ground of humanity. I'll admit that I've always enjoyed having people in my life that are very different than me. And at work, I can totally get that. Every once in a while, I admit I complain about he fact that the more technical you are at Microsoft, the better cafeteria you get (she says, explaining why her building has no cafeteria). But otherwise, I can honestly say to the geeks at Microsoft (and around the world....haha), I've got nothing but love for ya.

Boy, I was all full of good intentions when I took a couple extra days off: burn some vacation time and actually "relax" (yes, I have have to use quotes when I say that word.....you'll understand in a second).

I can relax when things I "should do" are out of my sight and out of my minds-eye. You know, it's hard to relax when there's dirty laundry or the lawn needs mowing. Because I really "should" take care of those things. I was all optimistic about my ability to stop shoulding on myself, maybe a little at a time. And I have had some moments of genuine chillaxment.

This past long weekend (Sat - Tues) was not one of those wonderful moments. It started out entirely innocent and turned into a chain of shizz I got done. I guess I always think I can relax later. On the bright side, my house looks good.

A morning in the backyard led me to do a little bit of tree pruning which led to full-on yard work, which led to clearing out the side of my house which led to erecting my gazebo tent. Geez, Heather, crazy much? It took all day and I have to admit not only a sense of accomplishment but amazement at how dirty I let myself get: dirty feet, leaves in the hair. It was a certain brand of awesome. The irony: I turned my gazebo into a little relaxation space:

Should Sunday have been a day of rest? Probably. But...you know how people on DIY TV always show how to upholster a headboard? I have always wanted to do that. And I already messed up my manicure so why the hell not?

It's hard to tell in the picture but it's tufted. Now my bedroom feels finished. All the more reason to sleep restfully (I hope). I have to admit that I feel pretty proud of myself on this one. I even used tongue-and-groove board to mount it on the wall. Yeah, check me out.

Monday: installed my blackout shades.

Tuesday: up at 3AM to clean up after a sick dog. My poor baby. I can't even get mad at him. Steam cleaned my carpet. With nose plugs on part of the time. Split a bottle of Gatorade with Jonas.

You know this latest DIY surge started a few weekends ago when I set up my mediation space/quiet room/guest room. Got it all put together and then decided that the wall color was so totally not peaceful (I'm a big proponent of picking a color palette for your home and sticking with it).

Ah, the irony. The space that is supposed to bring me calm wouldn't work until I painted it. Like I could hardly even sit in there because all I could think of is the wall color. Welcome to my brain.

When I bought the house, I used to do this kind of stuff every weekend. Lately, I have looked forward to the idea of relaxing and I am wondering if I am going to have to settle for an every-other-weekend relaxation schedule. Yeah, I jut said it...I need a relaxation schedule.

How did I live without them? I'm in the fetal position and and my room is pretty much pitch black and I forgot how I missed sleeping in a dark room. Is it possible they make the room quieter too? No? It just never gets all-the-way dark outside here. We'll have to see if I actually have more productive/consistent sleep. Call me an optimist. It's 4 PM and I want to go to bed.

I bet people that don't have them think "there's nothing wrong. Why would I need them?" and I say it's like discovering ice cream as a 30 year-old. They are just that good.

I hate to be the one to break the news if you have not already heard.

It was a little unrealistic to hope for a miracle. This makes me sad.