Real Stories of Mental Deterioration
Hello, I'm Deputy Marshall Tucker of the King County Department of Mental Acuity, and welcome to another episode of "Real Stories of Mental Deterioration". As always, we tell you true events showing what happens as your brain gets old and thaws and resolves into a dew. Names have been withheld, but as this is on his blog, you can probably guess just who the moron is.
I was getting ready to ride home at the usual time (6ish). As I've been getting a little
tired of having my keys dig into my leg as I ride home, after unlocking my bike,
I put my keys into my right pocket. I figured this way, my wallet would protect my leg.
After unlocking my bike, I remembered that I forgot a backpack I was supposed to bring home.
So, I went back upstairs and grabbed it. Once back to my bike, I realized that I had put my
helmet down in the office and left it there. Back to the office. Finally, I was ready to hit the road.
I got home without incident, but when I reached into my pocket to dig out my keys. They were gone!
I need those! My USB key is on there! I looked around, thinking perhaps I dropped it, but it
was no where to be found. I got back on my bike, and started to retrace my ride, hoping to see
the happy greenness, but nothing. I made it a few blocks, and I began to feel a familiar jab in my
right leg. Actually, even worse than normal because now the flat surface of my wallet was driving
my keys firmly into my leg. I had forgotten it was in the different pocket.
To make it up to myself, I grabbed a bottle of wine from the garage to go with supper.
There was more, involving a bottle of wine, two cats, supper, a microwave and more, but we'll save that for another episode (mostly because it was forgotten).
Remember, stay in school, eat your veggies, and don't take any drugs larger than your head.
