Mark Brown's Web Platform Blog : Humor

Cannon P.I. - Episode #1 is Now Available

mjbrown — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:12:27 GMT

There comes a time only maybe once in our lives where a true hero for the web developer emerges. They are caring problem solvers but are rough around the edges, they drive fast cars from the 80’s, they drink a bit too much and sometimes get into a little bit of trouble themselves.

But they are there, ready and willing to help when we need them.

Well the time has come and a new hero joins us and brings new life to Web Developers everywhere. I’d like to introduce you to the, fast driving, hard drinking, moustache wearing, Hawaiian shirt loving, and problem solving, Cannon P.I.

Here is the title sequence for the show. Enjoy :)

In our first episode, “To Catch and Eagle – The Secret Platform” Cannon goes to incredible lengths to help a couple of developers get the latest web platform tools, frameworks and applications using the Web Platform Installer.

Technorati Tags: microsoft,ms Web Platform,webPI,IIS,PHP

Tech Ed Interview with Carl Franklin

mjbrown — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:15:46 GMT

Hey everyone. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while. Been a little crazy for me lately getting everything ramped up for our upcoming release of Virtual Earth which is due here very very soon.

When we were all at Tech Ed North America in Orlando, FL this past June I sat down with Angus Logan, Dr. Neil and Carl Franklin of .NET Rocks! fame for a little interview. We covered a bunch of stuff including our upcoming Virtual Earth release which will feature v1 of our Virtual Earth Web Services. Our recent CTP release of the Virtual Earth ASP.NET control, our UltraCam, 3D models as well as a bunch of other Windows Live Platform services including Messenger, Silverlight Streaming, etc.

We also go into excruciating detail into the definition, exploration and proper usage of the word, “Chuffed”.

Enjoy !!!

Technorati Tags: Microsoft,Virtual Earth,Windows Live,TechEd,UltraCam

BAH, What a Wasted Day

mjbrown — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 05:23:09 GMT

Today’s been a tough one for me. To begin I was having issues with my normal laptop, a severely underpowered Sony VAIO that I’ve had for about three years. It’s never liked Vista and to be sure Vista has hated it right back. Still it is small, weighing less that four pounds and most often runs Office and a browser just fine. Good enough for non-dev work. Today that machine started acting up because the SMS client form our corporate machines wanted to install a Vista update that was already on the machine. Problem there is the install wasn’t smart enough to recognize that. Normally that isn’t a problem but this update was mandatory and the SMS Client is smart enough to shut your port down if it thinks you haven't installed it so I had to call our support guys to sort it out. Total time spent with IT guy on the phone? 1.5 hours. Total productivity during that time? 0.0 hours.

After that I needed to get an audio plug in for my copy of Sony Vegas Studio Platinum, the Noise Reduction one. Making videos I realized quickly that this is a MUST HAVE because everywhere I record there is background noise and it annoys the hell out of me. To be sure I ordered the right thing I called Sony and they said,

<typical stoner dude voice> “uh, actually you need to upgrade to Vegas Pro from, uh, Platinum. uh, yeah, that thing won’t work. Vegas Pro has what you need bra”</typical stoner dude voice>.

"mkay" I said, "I’ll go online and buy that one".

Next I go online and try to purchase it but for some reason their website isn’t processing orders so I call back and order it from another person, this time thankfully, no stoner voice. They process the order and email me the download URL and keys. I install it and of course there is no Noise Reduction plug-in to be found. I call back and they say, again no stoner voice, “Yeah, I'm not sure why someone would tell you that. What was his name?" "I don't remember" I said, "but I'll bet he's in the parking lot right now breaking the law". "Um, yes sir. Actually what you need to do is purchase Sound Forge which has the plug-ins and then you can use them directly from Vegas Platinum” "Great!" I say. "Cancel my order. I’ll order Sound Forge instead". Total time talking to Jeff Spicoli and friends, 2.5 hours. Total productivity during that time? 0.0 hours.

Finally, I’ve been trying for three days to get a very fresh build of SQL Server Spatial installed on my demo laptop. I'm giving a presentation with Ed Katibah on Virtual Earth and SQL Spatial at the GeoWeb conference next week in Vancouver, BC. Anyhoo, this laptop, unlike my Sony VAIO is a 13 pound, 64-bit brick house of a machine. I got the pre-reqs installed and then reboot, start Setup again and ZIP, I got nothing. With the help of some product team guys we figured out that my machine was a piece of toast. Unfortunately that’s what happens with demo machines, they sometimes get fried with all the pre-release stuff many of us run to do our jobs. So now as the crowning achievement of my lack of productivity today I'm flattening the entire thing and rebuilding it from scratch. Total time dorking with this machine for the last three days? Hmm, roughly 5.893 hours. Total productivity during that time? 0.0 hours.

I have to say that it's not all bad today however. My first video for Behind the Maps is doing really well with just over 38,000 viewings since I released it a week ago Saturday. I am currently working out the details for my next video where I go up and fly with this thing. There is apparently some cool technology that coordinates the plane and the camera and some interesting operational details too about how we gather images that applies to the incredible 3D work you see in Virtual Earth today. Stay tuned.

Hey when are you updating the aerial images for my house?

mjbrown — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:14:21 GMT

I get this question all the time from people I bump into or otherwise talk to during the course of my day. Every time I get this question I usually respond with,

Yes, we’ll have updated imagery in your area by, Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS IS A WOOKIE.

The ~~Wookie~~ Chewbacca defense generally works very well. Most either look confused and walk away muttering something or they laugh and then quickly say, “Wait a minute. HUH?”

Seriously though it’s extremely difficult to predict exactly when we’ll have an updated image of your house. We do refresh some imagery like our Birds Eye or oblique imagery roughly every couple of years and our orthogonal imagery gets updated on a slightly more varied schedule but it really depends on a number of factors including: population density, rate of change for a particular area, geo-political issues can also play a part, and finally, good luck with the weather cooperating.

So with all those considerations its impossible to give an accurate answer and what I’m left with is the ~~Wookie~~ Chewbacca Defense. But rest assured we are trying are best to be more predictable in this area.

Edit: Sorry for calling this the Wookie defense originally. I have been severely corrected by the community.

Technorati Tags: Microsoft,Virtual Earth,UltraCam

Lounge Lizard at the Tech Ed Blogger Lounge

mjbrown — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:58:39 GMT

Hey folks. Does my sense of humor bother you? Do you find my use of imagery in my blog posts convince you that I'm stupid or otherwise need therapy? Are you interested in having a conversation in person about Virtual Earth? Well here's your chance to either psychoanalyze, complain or ask me questions in person. I'll be hanging at the Tech Ed Bloggers Lounge this Wednesday June 4th from 3-4pm at the Blogger Lounge right near the Tech Ed Online Fishbowl.

See you there.

Technorati Tags: Microsoft,TechEd,Virtual Earth

Virtual Earth - Powered by Wind

mjbrown — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 23:53:28 GMT

I know that Microsoft explores alternative renewable energy sources to power its data centers around the world but I didn't know that our Virtual Earth data center in Boulder, CO is pretty much completely powered by wind energy. In fact we just fired up one of our new "Container Data Centers" in Boulder, CO to house one of our 3D model processing centers. See picture below. I have to say that I've never been happier to be associated with a trailer :)

Anyhoo, you can all rest easy that Microsoft does not pursue evil methods for powering Virtual Earth so please feel free to use it constantly. Indeed, the fact that Virtual Earth is powered by renewable green energy gives one the kind of smug self satisfaction that only Green Energy can. GEE, THANKS!!!