The Old New Thing

The kick in the balls you've been waiting for

Tommy says become an affiliate today!

(ok, well he didn't so much *say* it)

Got time and money to lose?  We'll give you a turn.

Tilt the web in your favor.  Get the ball rolling and score big by joining our affiliate program.

Take the plunger!

or

Join our affiliate program.  You can't win!

Hey, that was funny, it's just funny in a different way.  The kind of way the original was.

We flip your balls.

Hit our bumpers with your balls.

Flipper is a dolphin.

There is no silver bullet.

Our affiliate program: Pay us $2000, and collect 25 cents per user.

Join your customers in paying for flashing lights with our affiliate program.

Tired of hurting your wrists on competitors' products?  Get common tasks done quicker with our new pinball wizard. *

* requires affiliate program, available separately

I think I'm done now.

"Do you want to be an important part of hiests?" - Join our affiliate program.

Join our affiliate program- $.50 for every game of 3D Space Cadet Pinball played!

(BTW, the worst change in Vista? No pinball game! Although the one with the robots is pretty cool.)

DO A BARREL ROLL!

.................................................

John: glad to see the *chans are screwing up our favourite websites.

"I'll pull your plunger if you affiliate my bumper."

Or as they say on the *chans:

"bump!"

Were you expecting a level playing field?

Join our affiliate program and receive a pinball machine!

There is no success, there is only prolonging the inevitable failure.

If you can spot the relevance of this image to our services, you belong in our affiliate program!

Confused? Look at the pinball! Ok, now be an affiliate!

Deaf? Dumb? Blind? You're our perfect affiliate!

No matter what you do, it's going to fall in the gap eventually.

Our affiliates get free access to a large collection of irrelevant stock photography.

Affiliates get a free play.

Become an affiliate, or the ball gets it.

We don't whack affiliates in the balls.

Bounce around our bumpers for a while.

Plan It Now, Become Affiliate, Limited Licenses.

Still more fun than Pong.

JOIN OUR AFFILIATE PROGRAM

We plug the gap you can't reach -- but your balls can.

Our affiliate program will use your balls to bang our customers until they light up! At least until all your balls are drained.

Pictured above:  The most boring looking pinball game ever created.

Affiliates: Keep on feeding us the coins and we'll keep on feeding you the balls.

Join Our Affiliate Program Today!

It is a useless waste of time and it will cost you a fortune.

Don't drop the ball -- become an affiliate!

But yeah, that's a pretty boring table.

OurCompany: Because it's all just a game.

Become an affiliate and we'll be forever in your pocket.

Only 5,000 more referrals until MULTIBALL

Join our affiliate program today!  We'll give you quarters so you can play pinball and wash your clothes!!!

Join our affiliate program and be as bored as someone playing this pinball game.

Bored of playing pinball all day? Join our affiliate program!

We guarantee that our affiliate program will be more fun than this loser pinball game so join now!

After you pay the fee to join our affiliate program we should be able to get a better graphic! Join now!

Affiliates play. SDTM[*] for everyone else.

Affiliates win. SDTM for losers.

Why risk it? Affiliates get ball(s) savers!'

Everyone plays. Affiliates can't TILT.

[*] Straight down the middle

Our paddles would like to become affiliated with your balls.

Robo Smile!

Bust teeth!

(Slighlty obscure reference)

Wasted effort? Join our affiliate program, we'll give you a good whack, and keep your balls in the game!

Feel like everyone else is playing games with you? Join our affiliate program today!

Feel like your balls are getting smacked around? Its time to join our affiliate program!

Join our affiliate program, and spend the rest of your life playing pinball!

Join our affiliate program, we'll bounce you around chaoticly, then drop you down a hole.

Join our affiliate program, we'll treat your business like a game.

MULTIBALL!!

Learn to design pinball machines in your spare time!

Are you tired of playing whack-a-mole with affiliate spammers? Then why try to beat them when you can join them?  All that's required are balls of steel, some good game, and the ability to paddle anti-spammers hard without tilting. Join us today and score high.  Don't let your future go down the drain.

Join our low budget affiliate program - We couldn't even come up with an image of a pinball machine that has a ball feed.

Which could be shortened to:

Join our affiliate program - Where nothing really works.

or simply:

Join us and Tilt! Game over.

Join our affiliate program and you won't get bounced around.

How about: "Microsoft affiliate program" ? ;)

Join our affiliate program, it's like that Back to the Future, but instead you go to 1975 and you don't get to invent Rock and Roll.

Our affiliate program is tiltillating!

Sound like fun! Will you post a/some "winners" for each of these? Enable my laziness, please!

Wanna join our affiliate program? INSERT COIN!

What the? Is this the first post here on TONT that actually has a /picture/ in it??? Just... Wow!

Join our affiliate program!

We'll be deaf, dumb and blind to all your needs.

(Sorry, WHO are you?)

Want to game the system? Become an affiliate today.

Become an affiliate today, because winning is not a game.

Do you want to be a big paddle in a small game? Join our affiliate program.

If your balls haven't dropped yet, join our affiliate program

Our affiliate program is not a game.

Be our third paddle, join our affiliate program

Join our affiliate program. (Picture is unrelated)

Get more points with our affiliate program then on a 2 foot pinball machine

Are you up sh** creek without a paddle? Join our affiliate program

/me goes back to coding

Our affiliate program is a strange game:

The only winning move is not to play.

I am a geek.  I am not affiliated with humor.  This is my home-made pinball machine.  Join me in my basement.

Oops, sorry.  I thought we were making fun of each other now.

Join our affiliate program: 25cents per round.

I kind of like Raymond's original suggestions best.

Join the Microsoft Affiliate Program (Codename Pinball)

Disclaimer:

You don't earn any money but you can brag to your friends you were on the Pinball Beta Test team.