Motley says: "Seeing my manager in the hallway is all the interaction I need"
Summary
Motley: Regular one-on-one meetings with my manager are pointless. Hallway conversations are good enough.
Maven: Schedule weekly 1:1 meetings with your manager. Track your agenda throughout the week, and have a monthly discussion about your performance.
______________________________
[Context: Maven has been thinking about management best practices and thought he would ask Motley about his relationship with his boss]
Maven: Hey, Mot. Just curious - how do you like your current manager?
Motley: Megan? She's okay. We have a decent relationship. She's a hands-off manager, and that's the way I like it. I'm free to do my own thing.
Maven: Being hands-off can be a good management quality provided you have people you can trust to get the results delivered on time and with high quality. And with you, I'm sure she has no concerns.
Motley: No crap Sherlock, what was your first clue? But quit buttering me up - I know you must have a question. Every time you bother me you have a question.
Maven: You read my mind! I was wondering if you and Megan have regular 1:1 meetings.
Motley: No, we don't. She's hands-off and I deliver. No need to regularly communicate. I see her in the hallways once in a while and periodically we have a meeting in her office. That's good enough.
Maven: And what do you talk about when you have those irregular meetings?
Motley: Random stuff. Mostly about the status of the project.
Maven: Every so often you should have a meeting with Megan to discuss topics that you drive. Regular 1:1 meetings are a great way to ensure expectations are set appropriately and that you maintain a good relationship with your manager. Ideally, these 1:1 meetings should be once a week for at least half an hour.
Motley: Once a week?!?! I don't know what we'd talk about!
Maven: I'll bet various topics come up in your head throughout the week and you never really get them addressed. This idea is pretty common in employees with busy managers. By the time you get together to meet with your manager, the topic is long gone from your memory, or it has been resolved but perhaps in a suboptimal way. I recommend that you always have a spot on your whiteboard named "Agenda" for 1:1 topics. As you work through the week, note any topics you want to discuss on your whiteboard. Then, come 1:1 meeting time, your agenda is all set.
Motley: But I still don't really know what to discuss! What kind of topics are you suggesting?
Maven: My boss and I talk about a wide variety of topics. We may discuss my situation at home, how the local baseball team is doing, his or my charitable efforts, a tough situation at work, some questions that I have about a recent assignment, the vision of the group, division and company, and a multitude of other topics. It really varies from week to week. In addition, at least once per month we sit down and discuss the following:
- Areas where I am performing well on the job
- Areas that require improvement
- The future direction of my career, and the opportunities I am hoping for.
That way, I get continuous feedback in an iterative fashion, just like doing agile development. The more frequently I get the feedback, the sooner I can improve my work, and the more effective I become. Come annual review time, I make sure that I am right on track for a solid review. If I am not on track, I find out very quickly in the review period and have lots of time to adjust.
Motley: So just random topics - basically whatever comes to mind. And then once per month have a career-oriented discussion. Can't I just do this in hallway conversations? Why have a regular meeting?
Maven: You want a regular meeting with your manager once per week. Avoid relying on hallway conversations as you never know when they are going to take place. Plus, some topics you discuss, like your performance, shouldn't be overheard by the rest of the team. You want the meeting once per week because if you miss one because either of you is busy, two weeks isn't too long to wait. If you schedule every two weeks and you miss one, that's a month you are going without a meaningful conversation with your manager. The 1:1 meeting is all about maintaining that relationship with your manager and being clear on her expectations of you as a team member. I also recommend a quarterly 1:1 meeting with your manager's manager as well.
Motley: Fine. I'll ask her to schedule the meeting if it will get you off my back.
Maven: Ummm… one more thing-
Motley: What now?!?
Maven: I recommend that you schedule the meetings. The 1:1 meeting is your time and you drive it, so take the lead role in organizing. You want to make sure they happen and control how it appears on your manager's calendar. I also recommend that you have the meeting in your office. That way you can track agenda items on your whiteboard. In addition, I had a manager that was easily distracted by the computer on his desk. Having the meeting in my office gets him away from his computer and brings the attention focus more to me.
Motley: Hmmm… yeah, I see Megan getting quite easily distracted, so my office is probably a good idea. I can't believe I am asking this, but any other tips?
Maven: A few more:
- Use the 1:1 as an opportunity to give your manager feedback, if you are comfortable doing that. A good manager wants to improve and this is your chance to help in a private environment. Always ask if she wants the feedback - don't just give it to her. Make sure there is positive feedback mixed in with any negative feedback. For feedback to be generally received as positive, you need 4 pieces of positive feedback for every 1 piece of negative feedback.
- Find out what your manager's current challenges are. Make sure to explicitly ask "How can I help you?" Your manager will love you for that question. Show a sincere interest in helping her solve problems and improve the team.
- To groom yourself for a management position later in your career (if that is desired), always ask "why?" in your 1:1. If a decision came down from your manager last week, take the opportunity to task questions and really understand the rationale for the decision. That simple question will help groom you into a leader.
Motley: Ok. First topic of my first 1:1 with Megan is my raise. Hah! Just kidding. Actually, I want to ask her where she gets those great chocolate chip cookies she brings in for the team every other Friday.
Maven: Now you're talking. That's as good a topic as any. Make sure you throw in some positive feedback in there as well. You do love those cookies and appreciate that she brings them in.
______________________________
Maven's Pointer: It can be uncomfortable giving your manager feedback on his or her performance. Learn your manager's personality type and tailor your feedback accordingly. Many companies have an online anonymous manager feedback form that you can fill in. Leverage that if you are uncomfortable with a face-to-face conversation. Just keep in mind that those tools are never truly anonymous, particularly if the manager has few direct reports. Managers can learn your writing style, or may know that you are the most diligent about providing feedback and expect one of the entries (perhaps the only entry) to be yours. Good managers, however, ask for constructive feedback and will thank you for the gift.
Maven's Resources:
